Harry Hamlin — Transcripts — Veronica Mars Investigations

HZ: I don't acknowledge dream sequences. You know this.
JOY: Ha, yeah.
HZ: Well, I don't acknowledge this one. Fucking Lianne Mars? I hadn't missed her, I'd forgotten all about her.
JOY: Yeah, I kind of forgot that she ever existed.
HZ: But she's bearing laundry, because, in this dream, she's the perfect mother - as in domestic, and just sort of smiling gently at everyone else who's more interesting. She's got a much bigger house...
ALANNA BENNETT: Yes.
HZ: ...and a pancake breakfast, and Keith's in sheriff's uniform, and Veronica body-shames herself.
ALANNA BENNETT: Yes, because she's still the Disney popular girl, and gullible. I like that in her head it's like, "I wish that I were still this, like, gullible little princess."
JOY: Ha! The good old days.

Season 2, transcriptVMI Pod13 October 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Alanna Bennett, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Jackie Cook, Tessa Thompson, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Steve Guttenberg, Woody Goodman, Principal Clemmons, Van Clemmons, Duane Daniels, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Leonard Lobo, Gil Birmingham, Deputy Sacks, Brandon Hillock, Clarence Wiedman, Christopher B. Duncan, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Adam Bitterman, Curly Moran, Ken Marino, Vinnie Van Lowe, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Lianne Mars, Corinne Bohrer, Corny, Jonathan Chesner, Peter Ferrer, Luke Fryden, Marcos Oliveres, Jeremy Ray Valdez, Manning parents, Mannings, Stewart Manning, bus crash, murder, child abuse, suicide, New York, Paris, graduation, Neptune Grand, explosions, bombs, planes, chlamydia, Loganica, dream sequences, retcons, parties, sex, rotatokissing, briefcases, Little League, Sharks, Mr Lee, lawyers, incorporation, glasses, The Wig, sexpeople, bacon, taxidermy, Quail Creek Lodge, hunting, Weevil’s grandma, arrests, pony, NYC, Harry Styles, Madison Square Garden, Sugarhill Gang, babies, children, Brooklyn, tasers, tasing, Woody’s Burgers, Comic Sans, Hart Hanson, Dilemma, Nelly, Kelly Rowland, shower curtains, sandcastles, Gilmore Girls, college, Phoenix Land Trust, airport, JFK, rewards, pelvic wreckage

VMI 2.21 Happy Go Lucky transcript

JOY: I was so busy thinking about Weevil and math together.
HZ: Yeah? That doing it for you?
JOY: Yes. Two of my favourite things, Weevil and algebra. Math that I understand.
HZ: I didn't know you were into algebra. There's so much I still have to learn about you.
JOY: I mean, it's not like my passion, but if I had a workbook right now...
HZ: You could algebra the shit out of it.
JOY: I would absolutely do it to take the edge off anything to distract me from the yawning void just outside of my peripheral vision.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod6 October 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Jackie Cook, Tessa Thompson, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Steve Guttenberg, Woody Goodman, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Tommy Dohanic, Lucky, James Jordan, Terrence Cook, Jeffrey Sams, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Leonard Lobo, Gil Birmingham, Deputy Sacks, Brandon Hillock, Ethan Lavoie, John Prosky, Gay Storm, Annie Hinton, Don Worley, Hart, Mike Gaarde, bus crash, murder, death, assault, shooting, guns, blanks, child abuse, sexual abuse, sexual offenses, statutory rape, trauma, courtroom, trials, court cases, lawyers, shitty lawyers, jury, prosecution, defense, attorneys, judges, legal procedure, alibis, evidence, subpoena, Leo D’Amato, Duncan Kane, Marcos Oliveres, Peter Lilly Kane, Lilly Kane’s murder, bullshit, chlamydia, Thumper, Thumper’s murder, math, algebra, quadratic equations, veterans, war, People Magazine, Sexiest Man Alive, Kane scholarship, chia pets, press, batboys, passwords, cars, keying cars, lighting, computers, finals, exams, tests, Mannings, accidental porn, masks, catcher’s mask, bleach, email, MySpace, incorporation, objection, breakfast, mugshots, private plane, flight plans, monologuing, immunity, witnesses, shitnesses, POWER KEITH

VMI 2.15 The Quick and the Wed transcript

JOY: Here's some stuff that we find out that I don't care about: she had her ex-boyfriend's name tattooed on her ass after two weeks, then she got it removed, which took six weeks, so that the guy that she's getting married to would never see it, and also one of them lost her cellphone last night, and there was a guy creeping around them at the Happy Horseshoe. Here is what we find out that I do care about: they went to an all-male revue called "Packaged Meat".
HZ: Ew.
JOY: Ha! Helen! Get on my level. This is so great. This is wonderful news.
HZ: I suppose, any of the genders in revue, I'm a little uncomfortable with them.
JOY: Well, I guess this is where you and I, our paths diverge, and I take the winding road into the strippergram forest, searching for elusive woodland hunks to pop out, being granted modesty by strategically-placed fig leaves and branches, and that's just not what you're after.
HZ: It's quite the bucolic scene of male nudity and moss and branches and things.
JOY: Come on!

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod28 July 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Jane, Jane Kuhne, Valorie Curry, Hannah Griffith, Jessy Schram, Vinnie Van Lowe, Ken Marino, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Cassidy Casablancas, Beaver, Kyle Gallner, Heidi, Virginia Williams, Rick Peters, Dr Tom Griffith, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Daran Norris, Cliff McCormack, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Arturo, Michael Ausiello, Mr Pope, Michael Kostroff, Nick, Brad Ashten, bus crash, explosives, Terrence Cook, wedding, marriage, faxes, missing bride, family, engagement ring, engagement, karaoke, Felix’s murder, Felix Toombs, Phoenix Land Trust, Hannibal Lecter, prison, Clarice Starling, Easy Rider, Duncan Kane, CONDOMS, plea bargains, incorporation, bachelorettes, bachelorette party, hen party, sex Roomba, Neptune Onlyplace, Pirates of Penzance, Gilbert and Sullivan, Gollum, melon, strippers, bowling, bands, musicians

VMI 2.06 Rat Saw God transcript

JOY: What is it about people and twins and threesomes? You ever think about that, Helen?
HZ: Not in a desirous way. I feel like it's a bit disrespectful of the family relationship between them.
JOY: The family relationship, the autonomy… The mystery of twins, and the pain and struggles that we shall never know as two non-twins.
HZ: I have nieces who are twins, but they are ten, so it feels like not the time to talk to them about it.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod5 May 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, bus crash, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Ryan Hansen, Dick Casablancas, Woody Goodman, Steve Guttenberg, Felix Toombs, Brad Bufanda, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Cliff McCormack, Daran Norris, Clarence Wiedman, Christopher B. Duncan, PCHers, Abel Koontz, Christian Clemenson, sheriff election, sheriff, Felix’s murder, Amelia DeLongpre, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Kim Stolz, ANTM, cameos, Joss Whedon, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Rat Saw God, Rob Thomas’s novels, guest stars, necklaces, Naked and Afraid, boaters, Ibiza, ice machine, murder, death, money, extortion, disappearance, foam, foam parties, Mike, Dawn, Kane Software, Clarence Wiedman’s office, blazers, German, Tracey Walter, where’s Wallace, EnriqueFreaque69, Carlos Mercado, marked bills, Las Vegas, road trips, Sally Field, favours, favors, Panty Club for Homos, tattoos, dogs in hats, McGruff the Crime Dog, anthropomorphic dogs, Weevil’s grandma, arson, Echolls house, Chekhov’s things, Chekhov’s argyle, cigars, shivs, shanks, jail, evidence, compromising evidence, rats, Palm Pilot

VMI 1.22 Leave It To Beaver transcript

HZ: Veronica's not avoiding Logan today.
JOY: No, even though she's supposed to be I think steering clear from him she can't resist going in for a little no-costume undercover work pretending to still be into it so that she can see what he has to say for himself.
HZ: Yeah, right. We know that she's shitting him, for some reason.
JOY: I'm sorry - "shitting him"?
HZ: Yeah, do you not say that in America?
JOY: Oh, like like she's like lying to them or playing him or something? Like "you gotta be shitting me."
HZ: Right. Exactly. She's shittting him. But he doesn't know he's being shat.
JOY: See, this really starts to fall apart once you start conjugating.
HZ: Does it? You knew what I meant! He is beshat.

transcript, Season 1VMI Pod4 February 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, PCHers, Jake Kane, Kyle Secor, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Celeste Kane, Lisa Thornhill, Don Lamb, Sheriff Lamb, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, murder, tapes, secrets, secret tapes, sex tapes, fire, arson, fridges, Backup, car crash, fighting, fights, Keith Mars to the rescue, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Lianne Mars, Corinne Bohrer, rewards, theft, cheques, checks, Hrishikesh Hirway, Song Exploder, The West Wing Weekly, Steve Rankin, Lloyd Blankenship, Cheyenne, sex workers, Abel Koontz, newspapers, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Beaver, DNA tests, DNA results, paternity tests, onions, chopping onions, music, food, nice Chianti, parents, family, families, parenting, disguises, servers, cater waiters, Republicans, parties, another grim dinner at the Kane house, alcoholism, Cliff, Cliff McCormack, Daran Norris, voices, Cliff's voice, lawsuits, suing, Kane fortune, print media, props, eavesdropping, eavesdroppers, appearing behind things, CSS, toilet office, breakups, breaking up, Keithlicia, jackets, set dressing, waterproof Santa, Garfield, lighting, Leave It To Beaver, alibis, red herrings, Garbage, Bad Boyfriend, shit, linguistics, gay for Weevil, Leo D'Amato, Barry Randall, soul patch, facial hair, Deputy Sacks, the one phone call, hiding places, Marses in disguise, crab puffs, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Arnie, doors, traumacoaster, Spice Girls, Wannabe, video, sex hut, curtains, LeBaron, Veronica's car, Joan of Arc, walkie talkies, plastic horse, killing, goofs, stunt doubles, Blankenship, Lil Kim

VMI 1.21 A Trip to the Dentist transcript

HZ: In Vegas, Keith's guest Cheyenne arrives wearing a black dress with charm chains draped over the shoulders. Keith's hotel is quite beige and drab, and also, the TV is angled so you can't watch it in bed. What the fuck? What piece of shit hotel would do this to you? What is the point?
JOY: Yeah, that is cruel and unusual punishment.
HZ: Keith's still kind of in caring dad mode, asking Cheyenne if she's hungry.

KEITH: Are you hungry or anything?
CHEYENNE: I think not having to buy me dinner first is kind of the point. Why don’t you come sit over here with me and relax, okay?
KEITH: Well, maybe we could go sit out on the balcony.
CHEYENNE: You’re still gonna be married on the balcony. Now. I want you to tell me exactly what you want. That one thing you can never get the little woman to do. And we’ll start there.
KEITH: Actually, I’d like to start by talking about Abel Koontz.

HZ: Wow, Keith, that is one hell of a kink. Bet she doesn't get that request often.
JOY: “The little woman just won't discuss Abel Koontz and the Lilly Kane murder with me the way I'd like.”

Season 1, transcriptVMI Pod28 January 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, drugs, rape, alcohol, intoxication, sexual assault, Cassidy Casablancas, Beaver, Kyle Gallner, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Sean, Luke, Casey, Jonathan Bennett, Rashomon, spycams, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Cheyenne, sex workers, Cuba, Las Vegas, Celeste Kane, Lisa Thornhill, Teddy Dunn, Duncan Kane, Leighton Meester, Carrie Bishop, cameos, spit, drinks, parties, Shelly Pomroy, Shelly Pomroy’s party, GHB, liquid X, beards, facial hair, surfing, surfboards, theme song, Meg Manning, Alona Tal, Madison Sinclair, Amanda Noret, Clarence Wiedman, Christopher B Duncan, reward, Divinyls, I Touch Myself, allergies, Veronica's car, friendship, hotels, Echolls house, Inappropriately Sassy Duncan, Powersave Duncan, punch, Chekhov's thing, sugar, spitting, sets, set dressing, curtains, Aaron Echolls's face all over his house, pool house, air vents, hidden cameras, surveillance, Lianne Mars, Corinne Bohrer, car chalk, cars, drinking, Abel Koontz, wiretapping, Sean Friedrich

VMI 1.20 M.A.D. transcript

HZ: In the background of the Echolls living room, there's a cabinet containing many framed photos of Aaron. We're used to that from the set dressing, but also a bunch of awards, including two Oscars.

JOY: Damn, I missed that. What do you think those are for?

HZ: I don't know, because I thought they'd built up Aaron to be quite a shit actor, just doing these crappy action films and sequels.

JOY: I was wondering if - when they they said that when Veronica later says that she got caught making out by the star of Breaking Point and Breaking Point 2, I was wondering if that was supposed to be a Point Break reference, if Aaron was supposed to be a Patrick Swayze type.

HZ: Maybe one of the awards is for Dance Dirty and Dance Dirty 2 then.

Season 1, transcriptVMI Pod20 January 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, Neptune High, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Jeff D’Agostino, Beaver, Cassidy Casablancas, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Kyle Gallner, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Mac, Mac Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Carmen, Tad, Clarence Wiedman, Christopher B Duncan, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, boats, awful guys of Neptune, tattoos, humiliation, phones, cellphones, video, revenge, vengeance, sex tape, drugs, Keith's romances, sex, revenge porn, sex shaming, Toxic Neptune, cars, videos, incriminating videos, entrapment, Missing Duncan, passports, eBay, escape plans, prom, homophobia, military, navy, dances, LGBTQ, Boy George, Seth, ecstasy, Troy, hair, guys that suck, Paris Hilton, Star Wars Kid, memes, viral videos, Ghyslain Raza, sleeveless henley, clothes, jackets, fashion, clothing, rotatokissing, Oscars, awards, set dressing, Echolls home, Point Break, Patrick Swayze, Dirty Dancing, surfing, Mexico, cheerleaders, surf and chicks fest, dog names, dogs, A Dog Named Boo, songs, music, LoVe, Loganica, Finding out true love is blind, Louis XIV, lyrics, bad songs, novelty hats, boardwalk, hats, photos, photobooth, photoshop, framing, websites, graphic design, long lens, drug dealing, chicken kiev, Chevy Impala, Tijuana, motels, accents, swingles, Mr Heinrich, costumes, costuming, Catalina Island, sailing, dates, dating, Chinatown, newspaper, paper, serving, lawsuits, divorce, Lianne Mars, Albacore Club, Tuna Club of Avalon, legal proceedings, legal procedure, Loretta Cancun, Ameenah Kaplan, Cliff, Cliff McCormack, dance, tricking a hotel receptionist, props, Felix, Shelly Pomroy's party, nonconsensual drugging, nonconsensual intoxication, GHB, crapface, emotional abuse, coercion, hot tub, lighting, Kane Software, bugs, houseplants, roofies, rohypnol

VMI 1.19 Hot Dogs transcript

JOY: Logan is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

HZ: Yeah, although you do assume that the chocolates will be brownish green and a bit out of date. What what? But still delicious. Delicious, but bad for you.

Season 1, transcriptVMI Pod13 January 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, Neptune High, Mandy, dogs, missing animals, pets, animals, pet theft, dognapping, dog theft, Trina Echolls, Alyson Hannigan, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, awful men of Neptune, violence, knives, Dylan, Leo D'Amato, Max Greenfield, abuse, family abuse, domestic violence, Judy Blume, Forever, canine, dog pound, Jack Russells, Claire Titelman, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Missing Duncan, the Fonz, Celeste Kane, Kanes, Kane house, spy pen, Wishbone, Siddhartha, Hermann Hesse, Lynn Echolls, wills, inheritance, legacy, Snausage, Backup, Matthew Carey, Hans, Lisa Thornhill, pearls, Alicia Fennel, Keith's romances, 101 Dalmatians, henley, kissing, kisses, Loganica, VeGan, LoVe, Drive Me Crazy, Melissa Joan Hart, Adrian Grenier, Tasers, warrants, NDAs, non-disclosure agreements

VMI 1.13: Lord of the Bling transcript

HZ: At school Veronica is at the lunch tables questioning Yolanda's friend Gabrielle who's just talking, talking, talking, talking. And I love how Veronica says in voiceover some stuff that really illustrates the daddy-daughter dynamic chez Mars.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: One thing about an ex-cop for a dad is that some boring Sunday when you’ve seen all the reruns, he might kill time describing, for instance, how to tell if someone’s lying in an interrogation. Take Yolanda’s friend Gabrielle here: the indirect eye contact, the smile that doesn’t crinkle the eyes.

HZ: It's so useful. I wish I'd had such a useful dad. He probably could have told me how to like cut down a tree or something - but then I wouldn't have been allowed to touch his chainsaw.
JOY: OMG, a chainsaw!
HZ: Oh, my dad loves his chainsaw, yeah.
JOY: <psycho music>
HZ: Not like that; you would never besmirch it with human flesh, it would clog the chain! God, Jenny.
JOY: Oh my god. My mistake.
HZ: Have some respect for the implement!

transcript, Season 1VMI Pod18 November 2019Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, Neptune High, Anthony Anderson, Black-ish, robes, bedwear, loungewear, jewelry, jewellery, Switched at Birth, Yolanda Hamilton, Bone Hamilton, Bryce Hamilton, phones, land lines, blackmail, kidnapping, ransoms, hotels, costumes, Mars acting, Mars disguises, bugs, drains, drainage, water, engineering, marriage, underage marriage, Las Vegas, elopement, stereotypes, Shari Headley, physics, National Velvet, Black Velvet, Alannah Myles, bad backs, music, rappers, rap music, hip hop, missing persons, Sam Bloom, glass bricks, tax evasion, tax, chainsaws, blenders, clubs, flashback hands, Dick Casablancas, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Lynn Echolls, funeral, Trina Echolls, telegrams, Columbo, Dime Bag, The Eagles, Sonic Snoop, bugging, infidelity, musicians, art, set design, furniture, decor, decoration, musical notes art, why are you ruining Jenny's life?, George M Cohan, Yankee Doodle Dandy, Duncan Kane, ransom notes, toxic masculinity, toxic Neptune, comms, Skype, video calling, communication, Nevada, song

VMI 1.12: Clash of the Tritons transcript

HZ: Veronica's playing with the stapler, partly as a sign of rudeness and partly so she can swap it with a spy stapler! Is there an office supplies catalogue has identical models of the most common stationary items but with cameras in?

JOY: And had Veronica noted what kind of stapler she had before? Like on a previous trip to Miss James’s office?

HZ: I admire the research.

JOY: The important questions of our times.

HZ: And also does it function as a real stapler?

JOY: Oh, great question.

HZ: I suppose it must, because otherwise it would arouse suspicion.

Season 1, transcriptVMI Pod5 November 2019Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, Neptune High, secret society, secret societies, Triton, Tritons, rich white boy bullshit, wankers, secrets, pledges, hazing, karaoke, myths, Clash of the Titans, Harry Hamlin, Aaron Echolls, Lisa Rinna, Lynn Echolls, suicide, abuse, Miss James, Rebecca James, grief, therapy, staplers, counselling, spy equipment, spy office supplies, spy stationery, Rick, Tim, ID cards, fake ID, felonies, Detective Wallace, Singing Duncan, conch, conch shells, mental health, Burning Man, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Piers Gaveston, drinking societies, clubs, Oxford, David Cameron, Piggate, Blondie, One Way Or Another, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Black Mirror, Cliff!, Cliff McCormack, lockers, spycams, bugs, awful white boys of Neptune, Ansel Adams

VMI 1.10: An Echolls Family Christmas transcript

HZ: At Mars HQ, Keith and Aaron are having some coffee. Keith asks Aaron to pull a file out which he's got tucked into his armpit, which I found really cute. But I was wondering also whether Keith had a kind of game plan of informality with Aaron and cosseting him a bit where he's like, "So, you fucked someone that's not your wife, but my memory is not so good, either. So it doesn't matter that you lied to me."

JOY: Aaron seems like somebody who's gonna lie to make himself look better, until he doesn't have the opportunity to do so but still wants to feel good about himself. So I think the trick to getting Aaron's to cop to stuff is give him soft ways to backpedal for sure.

HZ: Keith is very smart. Then he's like, "I'm not going to tell Lynn that you cheated, because you didn't hire me to tell you that you cheated, she hired me to protect you. So here's a list of people who were at the Casablancas Halloween party. Can you circle the people that you slept with?" And Aaron's like circle circle circle and Keith's like, "No just the people you slept with whilst at the party." Amazing. And Aaron's like, "Ooof. I was on the hard cider." Now, anyone who's been 15 years old in Britain can identify.

transcript, Season 1VMI Pod21 October 2019Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, Christmas, Xmas, parties, pumpkins, pumpkin carving, stabbing, murder, attempted murder, sex, Little Bo Peep, costumes, costume parties, Aaron Echolls, Lynn Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Lisa Rinna, poker, cards, diuretics, tea, Drunken Kane, fake drunkenness, bad acting, oh Duncan, Sean, sports, sport, Logan’s racist remarks, cigars, Padres, Chekhov's Sports Christmas Ornaments, Chekhov’s Mess, Chekhov’s Pumpkin, Chekhov’s Abs, Chekhov’s Teabag, douchebags of Neptune, Sean Friedrich, Connor Larkin, Fabergé, Fabergé eggs, wealth, poolhouse, Logan’s poolhouse, carols, carollers, carol singers, fake snow, tennis, infidelity, lies, silky milkmaid, pumpkin carvers, whatever the French is for pumpkin carvers, enormous underwear, strip poker, butlers, Michael Bublé, scoopers, stabbers, Jake Kane, Celeste Kane, harassment, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Halloween, Zach McNees, games, card games, FauxNiners, BroNiners, 09ers, Zach Facts, Fact Check with Zach’s Deck

VMI 1.07: The Girl Next Door transcript

HZ: Logan, and Weevil are stuck in detention together, and Weevil rightly complains that he got zero in the test for talking, where even though it was Logan who was talking to Weevil, and it was Logan who insulted the teacher in front of everybody. And Weevil is really on about the injustice in this town - and rightly, I think.

JOY: Yes, the injustice is real. But if the injustice didn't exist, we might not get to watch Weevil and Logan start playing poker together and they just can't stop flirting with each other.

HZ: It is beautiful. Thank goodness they're stuck in this detention unsupervised, and that they seem to have found an alliance so quickly. Unfortunately, the card game is short-lived because Mr. Daniels comes in scoops up the cards.

WEEVIL: Aw, come on, man!
LOGAN: What the hell? We were playing a game here.
DANIELS: This is punishment, gentlemen, not party time.
LOGAN: Well, that would explain the absence of balloon animals.

JOY: And gives them a full week of detention - and I'm so happy for them that he didn't confiscate the money in addition to the cards, because I feel like that could have easily happened.

HZ: That is a good point. I feel like Mr. Daniels isn't after their money in the way that Sheriff Lamb, say, would have been.

JOY: Yes, exactly.

HZ: He just hates everything - but that includes financial gain from children.

transcript, Season 1VMI Pod30 September 2019Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, San Diego, Jessica Chastain, Abel Koontz, tiny dogs, artists, suspicion, train travel, life modelling, Academy of the Sword, neighbors, neighbours, friendship, detention, KISS KISS KISS, Lianne Mars, Jake Kane, Mr Daniels, flagpole, car, things on the flagpole, Aaron Echolls, boots, footwear, Vice Principal Clemmons, Clemmons, 1970s, 1950s, retro, Evelyn Bugby, yearbook, The Past, secrets, Kane family, paternity, fathers, cars, Weevilians, buy me a pony, Parker Abrams, Adam Kaufman, Harry Hamlin, Busby Berkeley, Buffonica

VMI 1.06: Return of the Kane transcript

JOY: No, alas. We plunge headlong from this into a really beautiful father-daughter scene where Keith and Veronica are doing their detective bit together.

HZ: Yeah, their detective a bit from when they were alive in the 1940s.

JOY: Yes, exactly.

VERONICA: Tough day?
KEITH: That ain’t the half of it. See, this dame walks in and you shoulda seen the getaway sticks on her. Says something’s hinky with her old man.

JOY: If you think I'm ever referring to my legs as anything other than ‘getaway sticks’ from here on out, you are sorely mistaken.