Posts tagged Macaulay Culkin
VMI: Vanquishing Malevolent Invaders, the crimes of Home Alone

A LONG TIME AGO IN HOME ALONE:

  • In an enormous house in Chicago, the enormous McAllister family is preparing to leave for a Christmas trip to Paris.

  • But, when designated naughty child Kevin causes a ruckus at dinner, he is sent to sleep in the attic as punishment.

  • Then in the chaos of being such an enormous family with shitloads of kids, the McAllisters accidentally fly off to Paris without Kevin, leaving him Home Alone.

  • Thus, an 8-year-old who has never even packed a suitcase before has to fend for himself in a hostile adult world.

  • AND fend off two serial burglars who are determined to break into the enormous McAllister house! Even after Kevin subjects them to multiple kinds of potentially fatal harm.

  • A grim cavalcade of child neglect and violence: ho ho ho Merrrry Christmas!

Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and resident legal expert Lo Dodds to investigate the crimes that take place in the harrowing cavalcade of ultraviolence that is Home Alone, and learn what the penalties would be for such misdeeds as hanging a child on a hook, stealing a toothbrush, leaving your 8-year-old unattended while you jet off to Paris, and shooting a burglar in the dick.

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