Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and special guest detective LaToya Ferguson to investigate the abiding mysteries of Veronica Mars season 2. Ends? Loose. Herrings? Red.
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A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
Everyone graduates high school! Except for Weevil, who is arrested for Thumper’s murder.
Keith tracks down Woody to a hunting lodge and gets him arrested for child abuse!
While he’s doing that, Veronica identifies Woody’s third victim: Cassidy Casablancas…
Who, after stealing Mac’s clothes, gets ready to kill Veronica on the Neptune Grand roof…
But Logan saves Veronica, Veronica saves Logan, but nobody can saves Cassidy.
Elsewhere in the building, Aaron Echolls enjoys a post-coital cigar until Clarence Wiedman shoots him in the head.
Oh and Jackie’s not in Paris, she’s in New York City, waitressing and reuniting with the two-year-old son she’s apparently had this whole time.
Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and Special Agent Alanna Bennett to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 22: Not Pictured, and probe such mysteries as Wallace’s glasses-wearing, whether Veronica would really be into Broadway and modern art, what Corny ends up doing in life, and what to use for a dramatic reveal if you don’t have a briefcase. Tote? Trash bag?
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A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
There have been some rough episodes of Veronica Mars, but this has to be one of the roughest. Aaron fucking Echolls is found innocent on all charges!
And it’s somehow something to do with Veronica getting chlamydia? Fuck! Off!!
Woody Goodman is revealed to be a child abuser, and some of the kids in the bus crash were his victims.
As was Lucky the janitor, who starts firing a gun at the school, then is shot dead.
Terrence Cook is exonerated from the bus crash, but condemned to work at the casino for at least a decade.
Jackie LEAVES without even saying goodbye.
And then, after all that trauma, Veronica has to take finals! It’s too much!
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 21: Happy Go Lucky, delving into such mysteries as to whether Woody could have chosen a more disgusting password, what’s actually supposed to happen in court when someone shouts “Objection!” and why a load of physical evidence, witnesses and legal procedure <<< CHLAMYDIA. We have an XL edition of The LoDown to deal with all the legal bullshit in this episode.
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A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
Helen’s hatred of the incorporation plot turns out to be JUSTIFIED as Woody Goodman uses it as an excuse to fuck over Keith! He can’t take his own unconscious young woman to the hospital, so a reluctant Keith has to do it.
But then Woody tells the papers that she was Keith’s unconscious young woman, and you don’t sell out a Mars without your big plan for incorporation failing - UP YOURS, Woody!
Also having beef with Woody is Lucky the janitor, who is stalking Gia Goodman as a result.
The prom is cancelled, so Logan throws an alterna-prom in his hotel suite, which is an opportunity for everyone to get dressed up, get drunk, and get romantic with each other - Loganica 2.0???? Oh, so close! But no.
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 20: Look Who’s Stalking, and probe such mysteries as the artworks in medical premises, dates to the batting cage, party pigs, and the many talents of Krysten Ritter.
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A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
We meet another misfit Neptune boy with a hobby for weapons: Harry! Who has a bedroom full of arrows, a wall full of stag heads, and a dog that was killed by a driver of a green Barracuda car…
...which belongs to an old lady who doesn’t drive it, but guess who does? Liam fucking Fitzpatrick! To run his errands, such as:
i. Trying to kill Keith Mars, but instead getting whupped by our favourite power dad;
ii. Bullying the PCHers so they bring in more drug money;
iii. Mooning Gia Goodman;
iv. And being in league with Kendall Casablancas, who has a criminal record, a secret house, AND an identity she stole off a girl who died in car crash?!Oh and just in case you thought the Lilly Kane murder case was solved last season, here it is again, as Aaron’s Oscar has been dug up from the Kane garden, with Lilly’s blood and Duncan’s hair on it!
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 19: Nevermind The Buttocks, and consider mysteries such as whether any of the Duncans are sexpeople, how you’d get a long-dead person’s blood onto a burned-up Oscar statuette, what Keith Mars’s Power Dad training regimen involves, and Jenny’s new feature Accidental Porn Dialogue in Veronica Mars.
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A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
Logan wins Woody Goodman’s essay contest! And the prize is a really boring-looking job at the mayor’s office, spotting Woody in the gym and sorting the mail…
...But then he finds creepy secret video taken from within Woody’s house!
He also gets to plunge the detonator to explode Shark Field…
…With Thumper inside, chained to a urinal by some angry Fitzpatricks after, at long last, something goes Weevil’s way.
And it’s the school Sadie Hawkins dance, and what are school dances for if nobody kisses someone they weren’t supposed to be kissing, WALLACE?!?
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 17: Plan B, and consider such mysteries as how many different ways can you pronounce ‘urinal’, where to buy chloroform, and why this show insists on making Jenny watch Lamb and Woody doing reps but not anyone she wants to see doing reps doing reps.
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A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
• After a year and a half of being a one-line character, Corny finally gets his own plotline! One that involves him getting tased by a serial mugger of pizza deliverers.
• Is the mugger also targeting Neptune High students who are gay and will pay blackmail money not to be outed?
• And is the mugger also targeting students in interracial relationships?
• Plus: Logan is dating Hannah to get at her father, the fake witness implicating him in Felix’s murder.
• Hannah’s none too pleased to be used, but nor is she pleased to find her dad’s coke stash.
• Keith meanwhile finds proof to exonerate Terrence Cook from the bus bombing…
•...but then Veronica finds some explosive evidence.
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 14: Versatile Toppings, and consider such mysteries as why you’d give Veronica a PRINTOUT of a supposedly very secret confidential website, whether Veronica ever uses the toilet, and whether it’s our brain or the plot of this episode that is a stupid mess.
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A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
It’s Neptune High’s winter carnival, to raise money for the school trip - but someone has stolen all the cash!
Who could it be? Weevil? While he’s taking his adorable niece around the funfair?
Jackie?? In the very brief moment when she’s not being plunged into a tank of cold water by vengeful students?
Logan??? No, he’s off flirting with the latest cute Neptune blonde girl Hannah, stealing her cotton candy and her heart, but with ulterior motives.
Random guy JB who really wants that Kane scholarship and just Veronica is standing in his way????
At least it’s definitely not Terrence Cook: he’s at the Mars office getting drunk with Keith, safe from being accused of more crimes, but not safe from Keith’s ruthless detectiving.
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 13: Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough, and probe such mysteries as how big a stack of stolen cash is, why Weevil’s growing out his hair, and why everyone’s dunking on Jackie - as well as dunking Jackie.
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A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
That hit and run that sent Wallace back to Neptune is being pinned on our favourite pure-hearted boy! And he has just five days to clear his name!
Veronica is on the case, and it involves a limo kidnapping scheme, infiltrating a frat party, and phone theft.
Oh and she also plants a camera in a church confessional booth, to find out which PCHer is working for the Fitzpatricks’ drug business and therefore killed Felix.
And it’s.…..Thumper! Who also seems to be the leader of the PCHers now, leaving Weevil powerless, beaten and bikeless.
Keith, meanwhile, is cooking hotdogs and listening to witness interviews about the bus crash.
And it’s karaoke night, again, so cover your ears and assume the brace position, you know the drill.
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 12: Rashard and Wallace Go To White Castle, and probe such mysteries as why anyone would get into a limo they didn’t order, why there are so many hollowed-out books in this town, what Weevil would sing at karaoke, and being hit in the dick.
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A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
Veronica and Jackie sort of become friends when Jackie asks Veronica to find out who stole her credit card and bought a load of vanilla-scented candles.
But they are promptly enemies again when Jackie humiliates Veronica during a televised psychic reading, AND slow-dances with Logan.
That’s not even the worst thing our blessed Wallace is dealing with this episode, as he reels from the information that for the past 18 years, his mother covered up who his father is.
The contest is heating up between Sheriff Lamb vs past and maybe future Sheriff Mars, and Lamb has found a way to pin the bus crash on Keith.
And it’s time for the Homecoming dance - no emotionally cathartic skinnydipping this time, just emotionally painful fallout.
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 5: Blast From The Past, and consider such mysteries as why it’s kinda pleasing to have Lamb back even though he’s pure awful; what it means to be not the brightest bulb on the bush; and whether it is prudent to google ‘Celebrity Boners and Gaffes’, spoiler no it is not.
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