Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and our resident legal expert Lo Dodds to celebrate the completion of the second year of Veronica Mars Investigations, with a parade of outtakes - about what happens to police dogs when they retire, how old is too old to join the FBI, gambling with pasta, and the very real dangers of huffing petrol (especially at any point in time since the Great Depression).
Read MoreA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Mr Kiss and Tell, an original mystery by Rob Thomas and Jennifer Graham:
A young woman has been raped and beaten, and, once again, the Neptune Grand hires Veronica to investigate - only so they don’t get sued for hiring the undocumented worker who has been accused.
But, having cleared him, Veronica keeps going with the case, to get justice for the victim, Grace Manning - that’s right, Meg’s little sister. A decade on from being locked in a closet by her parents, and still having a shit time.
Grace is one of several sex workers who have been attacked by this man, a SPORTSBALL coach. I knew I was right not to trust sportsball!
So Veronica and Leo team up, dress up and wig up to go to Vegas and bust this man. A golf course is involved - sports really come out of this novel badly.
Meanwhile, the sheriff’s election looms into view, with a new candidate, Marcia - with whom Keith has history. Tense sad history, not sexy history. We assume Keith’s pelvis is still knitting itself back together.
Keith and Cliff put together a civil case, Weevil vs the sheriff’s department and their evidence planting. But which does Weevil need more: justice, or to stop his family falling apart?
And Logan is ashore! He and Veronica are having problems, with her overwork and his months-long absences - but, they do get a puppy! And the puppy’s called Pony! A satisfying conclusion to Veronica’s years-long pony joke.
A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
Real life Patty Hearst plays a fake Hearst; and real life kidnapped person Patty Hearst plays a fake kidnapped person. It’s all something to do with share prices and a rich-people divorce settlement and she AND her husband have both been having affairs with the dog walker?
Update on Frats vs Dreaded Feminists: head fratter Chip is found unconscious, with his head shaved and a plastic egg shoved up his bum with a cryptic message inside.
And the Dreaded Feminists make Veronica wonder whether all the rapes were fake, but NO, they were real, and the rapist has got Veronica cornered and drugged again.
The Dean hires Keith to investigate whether his wife Mindy is cheating on him with her colleague. She isn’t - but she is, of course, cheating on him with the Dean’s colleague Professor Landry.
And having confronted them in bed together, the Dean is found dead with a gunshot wound to the head. It’s ruled a suicide, but... is it actually murder?
And after all that, we’re actually relieved to sit through another stolen animals plot, wherein Veronica and Mac infiltrate an animal rights group to get back a lab monkey and twenty rats.
There’s even another culturally insensitive hat party!
But it’s all worth it, because Mac meets a cute guy!
And they get the monkey back!
(And the rats, but nobody cares about them. (Except Jenny.))
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episodes 8, 9 and 10: Lord of the Spit Monkeys, and ponder such mysteries as how Dick is not banned from everywhere already, how this show made us feel bad for awful Chip, and why they don’t just keep Piz dancing instead of talking.
Read MoreA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
Helen’s hatred of the incorporation plot turns out to be JUSTIFIED as Woody Goodman uses it as an excuse to fuck over Keith! He can’t take his own unconscious young woman to the hospital, so a reluctant Keith has to do it.
But then Woody tells the papers that she was Keith’s unconscious young woman, and you don’t sell out a Mars without your big plan for incorporation failing - UP YOURS, Woody!
Also having beef with Woody is Lucky the janitor, who is stalking Gia Goodman as a result.
The prom is cancelled, so Logan throws an alterna-prom in his hotel suite, which is an opportunity for everyone to get dressed up, get drunk, and get romantic with each other - Loganica 2.0???? Oh, so close! But no.
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 20: Look Who’s Stalking, and probe such mysteries as the artworks in medical premises, dates to the batting cage, party pigs, and the many talents of Krysten Ritter.
Read MoreA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
We meet another misfit Neptune boy with a hobby for weapons: Harry! Who has a bedroom full of arrows, a wall full of stag heads, and a dog that was killed by a driver of a green Barracuda car…
...which belongs to an old lady who doesn’t drive it, but guess who does? Liam fucking Fitzpatrick! To run his errands, such as:
i. Trying to kill Keith Mars, but instead getting whupped by our favourite power dad;
ii. Bullying the PCHers so they bring in more drug money;
iii. Mooning Gia Goodman;
iv. And being in league with Kendall Casablancas, who has a criminal record, a secret house, AND an identity she stole off a girl who died in car crash?!
Oh and just in case you thought the Lilly Kane murder case was solved last season, here it is again, as Aaron’s Oscar has been dug up from the Kane garden, with Lilly’s blood and Duncan’s hair on it!
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 19: Nevermind The Buttocks, and consider mysteries such as whether any of the Duncans are sexpeople, how you’d get a long-dead person’s blood onto a burned-up Oscar statuette, what Keith Mars’s Power Dad training regimen involves, and Jenny’s new feature Accidental Porn Dialogue in Veronica Mars.
Read MoreJoin Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to celebrate the first year of Veronica Mars Investigations, with a parade of outtakes and outdated technologies. Hear about Chuck E Cheese and his arch rival in kids’ pizza joints, the Showbiz Pizza undead bear; Xena, Warrior Princess’s horse; why Jenny doesn’t trust birds; Westworld for kids; and the story of Jenny and Helen’s meet-cute over decidedly non-cute Tim Tam Slam wreckage.
Read MoreA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
A nice student called Carmen tries to break up with her boyfriend.
But he won’t let her - and if she tries, he’ll leak a video of her suggestively sucking a popsicle in a hot tub! Toxic Neptune strikes again!
But Toxic Neptune strikes even worse in Veronica’s plan to get revenge on this guy.
At least things are delightful and cute and beautiful between Keith Mars and Alicia Fennel - but Clarence Wiedman’s about to ruin their bliss.
Things are also hot and heavy between Logan and Veronica…
…until she discovers something shocking about the night of Shelly Pomroy’s fateful party.
Someone called Mandy has lost her dog and wants Veronica to find him.
Even though Veronica’s busy enough trying to find out why Weevil broke into Lilly Kane’s bedroom the other night…
Logan’s sister Trina has a boyfriend who is bad news.
But Mr Bad News himself Aaron Echolls is there to deal some very bad news to Trina’s boyfriend’s face.
Veronica breaks up with Deputy Leo, but they stay friends - so he can carry on doing favours for her, great, lucky him.
A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
Something’s afoot at Neptune High - the bomb squad is sniffing around.
And there are two suspicious students: the one with a bedroom full of weapons…
…and the one who’s basically Christian Slater in Heathers, plus a car full of fertilizer and guns.
Also we meet another new Duncan: Disappearing Duncan. Where’s Duncan gone??
Meanwhile, there’s romance in the air: Keith and Wallace’s mom are dating!
Aaaand: there’s also the kiss that launched a thousand ’ships.
A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
A Russian mail order bride wants Veronica to find her lost love, an actor named Tom Cruz. (Note: NOT Tom Cruise.)
Meg Manning wants Veronica to find the identity of her secret admirer - which rich white boy of Neptune could it be??
Logan’s on hotel stakeout in the hopes of finding his mom.
Keith is being tailed by two guys in terrible suits.
And could one of them lend Logan some pants?
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars Season 1 Episode 15: Ruskie Business, and probe such mysteries as why Wallace is STILL unable to resist doing favours for Veronica when said favours earn him a reputation as a jockstrap-sniffer, whether Veronica just has a stack of bridezilla props ready to go, and whether we’d rather go to prom with “some kid with that high school kid look” or a trashcan with boobs.
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