Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and our resident legal expert Lo Dodds to celebrate the completion of the second year of Veronica Mars Investigations, with a parade of outtakes - about what happens to police dogs when they retire, how old is too old to join the FBI, gambling with pasta, and the very real dangers of huffing petrol (especially at any point in time since the Great Depression).
Read MoreA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
A thing happens that turned the Marshmallows into Burnt Marshmallows, turned Veronica into a widow, and turned our twitter mentions into a shitshow whenever we said anything even slightly critical of Logan. But before that: this season wraps up some plots!
Dodie and Alonzo behead Richard Casablancas, with Matty looking on, and Clyde smiling the tiniest hint of a smile, even pauses on eating his sandwich for a moment.
Matty sells the Maloof ring to fund the reopening of the Sea Sprite, the only bit left of the Old Neptune boardwalk, because Big Dick’s plans to gentrify the town still happened even with him gone.
Keith’s medical problems are solved offscreen - just a bad combination of meds! He’s back to Keithing around! Although he has to dump Clyde as a friend, although we thought he already did that last episode? Is it our memory that is on the blink?
Denouement time: Penn’s the bomber! Or is it murderhead Don? No, he’s a last minute red herring, albeit a herring that has been murdered in an abandoned power plant and made to look like a suicide, and the bomber is definitely Penn and the Marses are stuck in a remote location with him - wait, wasn’t that last episode? Seriously got to get the doctor to check our memory...
Tick tick tick can the Marses find the limerick bomb in time? Yes! Keith is the town hero once more, after defusing the bomb Penn had planted at Kane high school.
But oh no, that’s not Penn’s last limerick or his last bomb; and after a quick pitstop for a Loganica wedding, Chekhov’s “don’t forget to move your car for street cleaning” blows up and takes Logan with it.
And Veronica, at last, goes to therapy, and leaves Neptune.
A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
Nicole and Veronica get high together, shoot guns together, and tell each other their secrets - except one, which is that Nicole sold Comrade Quack’s to a buyer who is Richard Casablancas wearing a plastic nose and false moustache, stacked on top of two other Richard Casablancases in a really big trenchcoat.
Keith also does some shooting, when Clyde takes him duck hunting and leaves his phone unattended near a Mars. But the text messages Keith snoops into put him off the theory that Clyde and Big Dick are behind the bombings.
Instead, Keith realises all the bombs killed people who were sex offenders. Cmon, that’s just Neptune, where everyone’s on the registry! But he decides it means Nicole is the bomber, taking revenge on rapists.
Other tenuous bombing suspect of the week: Weevil! He’s receiving money from Clyde to sabotage the town, according to Sea Sprite Shitter Juan when Veronica puts the pressure on.
Then for our weekly bomb: this one goes off in Comrade Quack’s! Don’t you dare take our precious Nicole from us, show!!
Someone claiming to be the bomber has sent a note to the police, which keeps the murderheads busy, and forces Mayor Dobbins to streak through town!
Murderhead Carol deduces that the note was written by Richard Casablancas, and to celebrate, she and Penn kiss! But their passion is interrupted by a gross discovery.
Here are some palate cleansers though: Vinnie gets a free jacket, Alonzo and Dodie get into lavender lattes, and Cliff gets a puppy!
A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
The themes of the season, bombs and beheadings, combine, as a spring breaker who’s been spiking women’s drinks gets a bomb strapped around his neck.
The Marses, Matty and the murderheads are still shuffling around their various theories about who the bomber is: Big Dick and Clyde trying to kill the Spring Break business for property prices; or the Maloofs, for reasons that nobody can really be arsed with any more.
Daniel Maloof is regretting ordering the hit on the Carrs, but too late! Dodie and Alonzo have video of them killing them…
...but one has survived? What a twist!
Not enough jerks for you? This episode features the reappearances of ugh Mercer and Lucky-in-a-wig and Toxic Max!
But in compensation we also see Vinnie, and... LEO! He’s now an FBI agent and divorcé with a jacket full of snacks, there to tempt Veronica as she struggles with domestic bliss with Logan.
• Daniel Maloof’s having a shit one. He is being blackmailed because he was videoed masturbating to a cam girl. He’s still being accused of murder by Penn all over the TV. He is kidnapped, strung up, stoned and dickpunched by the Carrs. Then he is rescued by Alonzo and Dodie, who are going to kill him - but Daniel turns the tables! And the other side is also really shitty.
• Sea Sprite Bombing Suspect of the Week is Matty’s pick: mole-having gum vending machine-filling Perry, who blows himself up when the police come for him.
• But Veronica doesn’t buy that he’s a culprit, and with another bomb going off at the end of the episode, the mystery continues. Unsurprisingly.
• More surprising is that Veronica actually has some fun! She gets to try on Nicole’s punching gloves, drop some E, dance dance dance - then puke puke puke the next morning.
• Keith’s also having fun - he and Clyde bond over golf!
• And Penn and his group of Murderheads are, unfortunately, still in our lives, dredging up Lilly Kane’s murder, advancing some wild theories about the Sea Sprite bomber - but one does give Veronica the link between the bombing and El Despiadado.
A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
SPRING BREAK!! Neptune is full of douchey boys and drunk girls, what could possibly go wrong??
What goes wrong? A bomb goes off at the party motel, that’s what’s wrong! Killing four people, one of whom is the nephew of El Despiadado, a MEXICAN CRIME LORD oh Rob Thomas, must we?
We must, and El Despiadado must send two guys to Neptune to chop off the head of whoever’s responsible for the bombing.
But they’re not the only family with a stake in this crime: the brother of congressman Daniel Maloof lost his hand and his fiancee, and the Maloofs hire the Marses to investigate. And Matty, the teenage daughter of the motel owner who died, is tugging at Veronica’s heartstrings.
We also meet some new characters: pizza delivery guy Patton Oswalt - er, Penn; Mr Hu, whose supermarket is being sabotaged with rats; and super cool bar owner Nicole, who sure can punch.
Plus we have the return of ambulance-chasing Cliff; a still-recovering Keith; and Big Dick Casablancas, who’s campaigning to Make Neptune Great Again.
Logan is also back, and he proposes to Veronica! What a prick! And he plays with Wallace’s baby! Ugh how dare he!
Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and special guest detective LaToya Ferguson to investigate the abiding mysteries of Veronica Mars season 2. Ends? Loose. Herrings? Red.
Read MoreA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
Everyone graduates high school! Except for Weevil, who is arrested for Thumper’s murder.
Keith tracks down Woody to a hunting lodge and gets him arrested for child abuse!
While he’s doing that, Veronica identifies Woody’s third victim: Cassidy Casablancas…
Who, after stealing Mac’s clothes, gets ready to kill Veronica on the Neptune Grand roof…
But Logan saves Veronica, Veronica saves Logan, but nobody can saves Cassidy.
Elsewhere in the building, Aaron Echolls enjoys a post-coital cigar until Clarence Wiedman shoots him in the head.
Oh and Jackie’s not in Paris, she’s in New York City, waitressing and reuniting with the two-year-old son she’s apparently had this whole time.
Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and Special Agent Alanna Bennett to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 22: Not Pictured, and probe such mysteries as Wallace’s glasses-wearing, whether Veronica would really be into Broadway and modern art, what Corny ends up doing in life, and what to use for a dramatic reveal if you don’t have a briefcase. Tote? Trash bag?
Read MoreA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
Something’s afoot at Neptune High - the bomb squad is sniffing around.
And there are two suspicious students: the one with a bedroom full of weapons…
…and the one who’s basically Christian Slater in Heathers, plus a car full of fertilizer and guns.
Also we meet another new Duncan: Disappearing Duncan. Where’s Duncan gone??
Meanwhile, there’s romance in the air: Keith and Wallace’s mom are dating!
Aaaand: there’s also the kiss that launched a thousand ’ships.
