Posts tagged marriage
VMI x Hot and Bothered: Pride and Prejudice (2005 movie)

A LONG TIME AGO, IN THE 2005 MOVIE ADAPTATION OF PRIDE AND PREJUDICE:

  • You’ve got no sons to inherit your estate, only five daughters, so what the hell are you going to do to ensure your family’s housing and security?

  • Why, you send Jane, the oldest and prettiest to catch a cold in the rain so rich Mr Bingley will fall in love with her!

  • You let your boring cousin take his pick of the flock, Lizzy; but when she’s not into it, he goes off and marries her best friend so your plan is again RUINED!

  • You don’t take any of the rest of your daughters seriously, till the youngest one SCANDALOUSLY runs off with Mr Wickham.

  • Luckily there’s a Mr Darcy around to fix the situation with money and marriage, because is there a problem that money and marriage can’t fix?

  • In the end, neither pride nor prejudice can get in the way of Bennet sisters marrying for love plus, conveniently, carriage-loads of money.

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VMI 4.08 Years, Continents, Bloodshed

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • A thing happens that turned the Marshmallows into Burnt Marshmallows, turned Veronica into a widow, and turned our twitter mentions into a shitshow whenever we said anything even slightly critical of Logan. But before that: this season wraps up some plots!

  • Dodie and Alonzo behead Richard Casablancas, with Matty looking on, and Clyde smiling the tiniest hint of a smile, even pauses on eating his sandwich for a moment.

  • Matty sells the Maloof ring to fund the reopening of the Sea Sprite, the only bit left of the Old Neptune boardwalk, because Big Dick’s plans to gentrify the town still happened even with him gone.

  • Keith’s medical problems are solved offscreen - just a bad combination of meds! He’s back to Keithing around! Although he has to dump Clyde as a friend, although we thought he already did that last episode? Is it our memory that is on the blink?

  • Denouement time: Penn’s the bomber! Or is it murderhead Don? No, he’s a last minute red herring, albeit a herring that has been murdered in an abandoned power plant and made to look like a suicide, and the bomber is definitely Penn and the Marses are stuck in a remote location with him - wait, wasn’t that last episode? Seriously got to get the doctor to check our memory...

  • Tick tick tick can the Marses find the limerick bomb in time? Yes! Keith is the town hero once more, after defusing the bomb Penn had planted at Kane high school.

  • But oh no, that’s not Penn’s last limerick or his last bomb; and after a quick pitstop for a Loganica wedding, Chekhov’s “don’t forget to move your car for street cleaning” blows up and takes Logan with it.

  • And Veronica, at last, goes to therapy, and leaves Neptune.

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VMI 4.01 Spring Break Forever

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • SPRING BREAK!! Neptune is full of douchey boys and drunk girls, what could possibly go wrong??

  • What goes wrong? A bomb goes off at the party motel, that’s what’s wrong! Killing four people, one of whom is the nephew of El Despiadado, a MEXICAN CRIME LORD oh Rob Thomas, must we?

  • We must, and El Despiadado must send two guys to Neptune to chop off the head of whoever’s responsible for the bombing.

  • But they’re not the only family with a stake in this crime: the brother of congressman Daniel Maloof lost his hand and his fiancee, and the Maloofs hire the Marses to investigate. And Matty, the teenage daughter of the motel owner who died, is tugging at Veronica’s heartstrings.

  • We also meet some new characters: pizza delivery guy Patton Oswalt - er, Penn; Mr Hu, whose supermarket is being sabotaged with rats; and super cool bar owner Nicole, who sure can punch.

  • Plus we have the return of ambulance-chasing Cliff; a still-recovering Keith; and Big Dick Casablancas, who’s campaigning to Make Neptune Great Again.

  • Logan is also back, and he proposes to Veronica! What a prick! And he plays with Wallace’s baby! Ugh how dare he!

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VMI 3.111213 There’s Gotta Be a Poughkeepsie Mortem

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • Remember Max, that guy who you can pay to cheat on tests? Well he’s fallen in love with a sex worker and wants Veronica to track her down! But it’ll cost him, financially and emotionally.

  • Remember Bonnie, the sexperson who had been dealing with Dick and other frats outside of her relationship with Luckyinawig? Well, she was pregnant, until someone slipped her a pill that caused her to miscarry.

  • Remember the Dean’s wife’s ex-husband Steve? He’s back, because now the Dean’s dead, Mindy can’t afford to pay him the bone marrow hush money any more.

  • Remember eggs, specifically the ones that the Dreaded Feminists threw at the Dean’s car and the Dean’s office? Keith is putting on his old sheriff uniform to investigate.

  • Remember Wallace’s sportsball coach? No? Never mind: he shows up dead, and the Marses have to prove that his son Josh isn’t the murderer.

  • Remember Madison Sinclair? Logan had sex with her! And so Loganica break up. Again.

  • Hence Logan is wallowing in heartbreak, until Dick runs off to Vegas and leaves him in charge of an 11-year-old girl - who is a better friend to him than anyone else has been on this show.

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episodes 11, 12 and 13: There’s Gotta Be a Poughkeepsie Mortem, and delve into such mysteries as why this show gives us 40 minutes of awful Max and one minute of our angel Wallace, what ‘interesting lingerie’ could mean, and why are truck nuts.

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audio, Season 3VMI PodVeronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, college, Hearst College, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 3, Daran Norris, Cliff McCormack, Professor Landry, Hank Landry, Patrick Fabian, Tim Foyle, James Jordan, Lucky in a Wig, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Cyrus O’Dell, Ed Begley Jr, Mindy O’Dell, Jaime Ray Newman, Steve Batando, Richard Grieco, Max, Adam Rose, Deputy Sacks, Jerry Sacks, Brandon Hillock, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Nish Sweeney, Chastity Dotson, Claire Nordhouse, Krista Kalmus, Fern Delgado, Cher Ferreyra, Josh Barry, Jonathan Chase, Mason, Robert Ri’chard, Tom Barry, Matt McKenzie, Mel Stoltz, Jeremy Roberts, Kathleen Barry, Tracey Needham, Jeff Ratner, David Magidoff, Tina, Anna Campbell, Coach Yeager, Todd Christian Hunter, Heather Button, Juliette Goglia, Melinda Button, Lisa Jay, Madison Sinclair, Amanda Noret, Bonnie Capistrano, Carlee Avers, Brianne Davis, Wendy, Jackie Debatin, Julia Lehman, Windell Middlebrooks, Nathan Frizzell, Laura Roth, Toni Trucks, Juliette Jeffers, eggs, egging, murder, miscarriage, death, sheriff, lingerie, underwear, sex work, sex workers, Loganica, break ups, love, marriage, Las Vegas, Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility, chest hair, truck nuts, vanity plates, toolbelts, sexpeople, Mario Kart, games, gaming, Nintendo, Space Ghost, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
VMI 2.15 The Quick and the Wed

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • Like all Wallace’s special ladyfriends, Jane requires Veronica’s services: her sister Heidi went missing after her own bachelorette party! And the wedding’s in three days!

  • Heidi’s got a rich fiance and a past, and these things are incompatible in the Marsverse.

  • Meanwhile, Aaron Echolls is back, marvelling at Kendall Casablancas’s boobs, and asking her for a favour that sends her rooting around in the shower drain.

  • She’s also trying to get Logan to invest in Cassidy’s booming property empire. But good luck with that: Logan’s busy dating Hannah and manipulating her parents.

  • A warrant is issued for Terrence Cook’s arrest, but then Keith finds some evidence that may prove his innocence - but then Terrence does something that makes him look really guilty again!

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 15: The Quick and the Wed, and consider such mysteries as engagement rings being legally binding, Gollum bachelorettes, and Kendall Casablancas being some kind of sex Roomba.

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Special Investigation: Pride and Prejudice

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS THE BBC 1995 MINISERIES OF PRIDE AND PREJUDICE:

  • Bonnets!

  • Balls!

  • Wet shirt!!!!

  • Cousin-marriage?!

  • Rude rich boy is into sassy girl with tiny jacket!

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to recap the BBC 1995 miniseries of Pride and Prejudice, which Jenny had never seen, nor indeed had she experienced Pride and Prejudice in any form. Until Helen made her. Because if Wallace, Jackie, Veronica and Duncan are congregating at the Neptune Grand to watch it in S2E03, then so shall we.

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VMI 1.13: Lord of the Bling

A LONG TIME AGO, ON VERONICA MARS:

  • Neptune’s own gangsta rap record boss, Bone Hamilton, needs Keith to find his daughter Yolanda, who is missing, presumed kidnapped.

  • A long time ago, Yolanda and Veronica used to be friends - but they haven’t talked lately at all. What went wrong?

  • What went wrong is LOGAN, but that’s nothing compared to what he’s having to deal with this episode.

  • And Wallace has a new hairstyle, don’t touch it Veronica, please.

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars Season 1 Episode 13: Lord of the Bling, and try to solve such mysteries as why you would dangle someone out of a window to get them to sign a contract when doing so voids a contract; how the Marses choose a bug from their vast collection; whether the world’s biggest blender counts as a blender when it does not contain blades; and why Logan is so well versed in Broadway hits of the 1890s.

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Season 1, audioVMI PodVeronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, Neptune High, Anthony Anderson, Black-ish, robes, bedwear, loungewear, jewelry, jewellery, Switched at Birth, Yolanda Hamilton, Bone Hamilton, Bryce Hamilton, phones, land lines, blackmail, kidnapping, ransoms, hotels, costumes, Mars acting, Mars disguises, bugs, drains, drainage, water, engineering, marriage, underage marriage, Las Vegas, elopement, stereotypes, Shari Headley, physics, National Velvet, Black Velvet, Alannah Myles, bad backs, music, rappers, rap music, hip hop, missing persons, Sam Bloom, glass bricks, tax evasion, tax, chainsaws, blenders, clubs, flashback hands, Dick Casablancas, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Lynn Echolls, funeral, Trina Echolls, telegrams, Columbo, Dime Bag, The Eagles, Sonic Snoop, bugging, infidelity, musicians, art, set design, furniture, decor, decoration, musical notes art, why are you ruining Jenny's life?, George M Cohan, Yankee Doodle Dandy, Duncan Kane, ransom notes, toxic masculinity, toxic Neptune, comms, Skype, video calling, communication, Nevada, song, duping a hotel receptionist, tricking a hotel receptionist