Nathan Woods — Transcripts — Veronica Mars Investigations

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Season 2 Investigations Investigations transcript

LATOYA FERGUSON: The amount of things I never thought I'd have to care about in a TV show that are in this season. Incorporation. Airplane hangars. At least like when The OC did all its real estate plots, it was interesting. But like... Jesus, incorporation.

special episode, transcript, Season 2VMI Pod20 October 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, LaToya Ferguson, special guest, Jackie Cook, Tessa Thompson, Terrence Cook, Jeffrey Sams, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Nathan Woods, Cress Williams, Abel Koontz, Christian Clemenson, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Woody Goodman, Steve Guttenberg, Cassidy Casablancas, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Aaron Echolls, Clarence Wiedman, Thumper, Fitzpatricks, Lilly Kane’s murder, Kristin Cavallari, Paris Hilton, guest stars, Trina Echolls, Celeste Kane, Duncan Kane, Bearded Duncan, Mannings, Meg Manning, Lizzie Manning, Grace Manning, Lucky, Leo D’Amato, Hannah Griffith, Dr Tom Griffith, retcons, UPN, limo, bus, bus crash, gas station, incorporation, rat, murder, bombs, explosions, mysteries, plot holes, text messages, red herrings, Thumper’s murder, Oscar, murder weapon, pizza, muggings, pizza muggings, sign language, LGBTQ, Versatile Toppings, My Mother the Fiend, friends, fiends, baby, books, novels, email, phones

VMI 2.12 Rashard and Wallace Go To White Castle transcript

HZ: Uncle Monte doesn't want Rashard to be consorting with girls in case they're leeches, and hits him in the dick to prove his point.
JOY: Helen, has your uncle ever hit you in the dick?
HZ: I've only met my uncle about eight times, and no, he didn't hit me in the dick. He taught me how to make a compass with a piece of string and a pin.
JOY: That's pretty tight. That's way cooler than hitting your nibling in the dick.
HZ: I don't think I've hit any of my niblings in the dick so far.
JOY: Good on you, Helen.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod7 July 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, bus crash, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Terrence Cook, Detective Weevil, Detective Logan, Felix’s murder, Felix Toombs, PCHers, Thumper, James Molina, Hector, Patrick Wolff, Chicago, Rashard Rucker, hit and run, cover-up, basketball, Fitzpatricks, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Marcello Thedford, Super Huge Deputy, Liam Fitzpatrick, Robert Fitzpatrick, James Joseph O'Neil, Annie Campbell, Molly Fitzpatrick, Don Lamb, Sheriff Lamb, Michael Muhney, Cliff McCormack, Daran Norris, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Jane, BJ Britt, Uncle Monte Rucker, Sterling Macer Jr, Nathan Woods, Cress Williams, Guy Abruti, Curtis Anderson, Neptune Grand, church, confession, confessional, props, books, Inga, evidence, club, White Castle, limo, fraternity, frat, party, parties, karaoke, Britt Daniel, Spoon, Lars, Curly Moran, smelly bus, Neptune Onlyplace, toga parties, journalists, clubs, tie dye, boobs, uncles, drive through, burgers, cool girl, phones, cellphones, mobile phones, switcheroo, hollow books, Bill O’Reilly, tapes, interviews, priests, catholicism, hymnal, Miss Dumas, rat, dead rat, Woody Goodman, cobbler, pantomime horse, costumes, panto

VMI 2-05 Blast from the Past transcript

JOY: I just googled ‘Celebrity Boners and Gaffes’ -
HZ: No, no — no Jenny! Delete all the cookies!
JOY:There is a seemingly endless list of articles from mostly BuzzFeed, In Touch, some other websites and news outlets. Here are some sample article titles: "Celebrities who've had erections during sex scenes". "31 celebrity bulges that went hard in 2015". "The 21 most important celebrity bulges of all time". "Boner alert! Nine celebrities who have had boners in public". "Boner alert! Make America bulge again".
HZ: Argh.
JOY: "13 celebrity dudes who aren't afraid to show off their goods". I've googled it, so you don't have to.
HZ: Thanks, Jenny.
JOY: Ugh. You're welcome.
HZ: How do you know I hadn't already? (I hadn't.) So no gaffes, just boners?
JOY: No gaffes, just boners.
HZ: Gaffes are less popular than boners, I guess.

Season 2, transcriptVMI Pod21 April 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Mars Investigations, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, bus crash, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Manning parents, Mannings, Mac, Mac Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Nathan Woods, Cress Williams, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Terrence Cook, Jeffrey Sams, Cora, Dana Davis, Christine Estabrook, psychic, Madame Sophie, Mr Wu, Mrs Murphy, Corny, Mandy, sheriff race, Wallace’s dad, Fennel family, Hank Fennel, grief, TV psychic, fraud, fake psychic, pranks, punking, dances, dance, dancing, Homecoming, The Faders, narcotics, Keithlicia, secrets, lies, deceit, Mamma-max, Mammamax, betrayal, sabotage, shaming, embarrassment, bugs, literal bugs, surveillance, gambling, betting, baseball, match fixing, sports, Duncvonica, toilet office, Tricky Wicks, unicorns, Black Eyed Peas, Elephunk, jackets, chicken suit, Cupid, Sunset and Vaughn, Celebrity Boners and Gaffes, boners, lighting, red lights, Zippy the Pinhead, Yankees, Pete Rose, Shoeless Joe Jackson, Hall of Fame

VMI 2-04 Green-Eyed Monster transcript

VERONICA on phone: Have you had dinner?
DUNCAN: No, I'm tired of room service. [Opens door: it’s Veronica, holding up a bag of food.]
VERONICA: Then may I suggest dim sum, and then some?

JOY: Ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. Ew. OK, I'm going to say this, and then I need to go get some Listerine. "Dim sum and then some"?

HZ: It gets worse. It gets worse, Jenny.

DUNCAN: What if we start the evening with ‘and then some’ and work our way back to the dim sum?
VERONICA: It's officially under consideration. May I ask you something first?
DUNCAN: Yes to costumes, no to props. Does that cover it?

JOY: Helennnnn!
HZ: Veronica does have a lot of costumes, but her props are bugs and tasers. So I can understand why he didn't want to use those.
JOY: Yeah, I guess. I guess that makes sense.
HZ: Then Veronica ruins the dim sum and then some, or the then some and then dim sum that Duncan's angling for, by saying, "Why didn't you tell me how often you'd been visiting Meg since the accident?" And it's hard to carry on the sexy chat after that kind of line.
JOY: Yeah. It's not great.
HZ: She's really done the roleplay badly there.
JOY: Yeah.
HZ: “I'm roleplaying as one of the Manning parents.”
JOY: Ugh. Sick.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod14 April 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Mars Investigations, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, bus crash, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Curly Moran, Meg Manning, Alona Tal, Manning parents, Mannings, Lizzie Manning, Anastasia Baranova, Mac, Mac Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Nathan Woods, Cress Williams, Laura Bell Bundy, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Geoff Manning, Julie Bloch, Colin Nevin, Michael E Rodgers, Scottish, Scotland, grifting, honeytrapping, entrapment, Nicolas Cage, Nic Cage, Lisa Marie Presley, Java the Hut, Neptune Onlyplace, trust, lies, relationships, romance, converting to Judaism, Judaism, engagement, surveillance, jealousy, secrets, wealth, accents, Veronica’s disguises, earrings, tiny cardigans, cardigans, clothes, costumes, what the fuck is that garment, money, castles, time travel, Outlander, handkerchiefs, cars, scotch, Kato Kaelin, sandwiches, donuts, doughnuts, dim sum, dim sum and then some, Miss James, The Big Lebowski, clamps, boots, getting booted, getting clamped, trunk, bonnet, hood, boot, Cherie Parker Saunders, Cherie, Vin Diesel, Grace Manning, ICU, Planet Zowie, computers, laptops, Chesty Duncan, Martha Stewart, Judge Wapner, Cervando, Fitzpatricks, Fighting Fitzpatricks, trespass, police

VMI 2.03 Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang transcript

HZ: I have two other reasons that I think account for Veronica's hostility. One is: I think she senses that Jackie is a sexperson. She has already said in the previous episode that she hasn't dated a high school guy since eighth grade. She makes reference to actors she's been out with. She's a sexperson. But I think the true reason she dislikes Jackie is because Jackie also wears tiny jackets.
JOY: Tiny jacket competition. They have to have a tiny jacket-off.
HZ: Who's got the tiniest jacket? And also, Jackie's name is so close to ‘jacket’.
JOY: Wow. Yes. Also really regretting saying 'tiny jacket-off'.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod6 April 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, bus crash, Curly Moran, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Duncvonica, Richard Casablancas, David Starzyk, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Mr Pope, Michael Kostroff, Nathan Woods, Cress Williams, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Chicago, Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen, novels, literature, period drama, Colin Firth, Mr Darcy, Elizabeth Bennet, hotel jazz, jazz, karaoke, Courtney Taylor-Taylor, crimes against music, songs, Love Hurts, prenups, infidelity, sex, sexpeople, gym, long lens, surveillance, scams, property, property scams, illegal, helicopters, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Future Business Leaders of America, REITs, finances, shares, punching, fighting, boats, milk, milkshakes, milky drinks, Aaron Echolls, Echolls home, stunts, stuntman, police badge, Neptune Onlyplace, Java The Hut, Twin Peaks, Dandy Warhols, Lars, William Burroughs, Mystic Pizza, Sandpiper, hotels, fraud, theft, teapots, FBLA