Corny — Transcripts — Veronica Mars Investigations

Posts tagged Corny

HZ: I don't acknowledge dream sequences. You know this.
JOY: Ha, yeah.
HZ: Well, I don't acknowledge this one. Fucking Lianne Mars? I hadn't missed her, I'd forgotten all about her.
JOY: Yeah, I kind of forgot that she ever existed.
HZ: But she's bearing laundry, because, in this dream, she's the perfect mother - as in domestic, and just sort of smiling gently at everyone else who's more interesting. She's got a much bigger house...
ALANNA BENNETT: Yes.
HZ: ...and a pancake breakfast, and Keith's in sheriff's uniform, and Veronica body-shames herself.
ALANNA BENNETT: Yes, because she's still the Disney popular girl, and gullible. I like that in her head it's like, "I wish that I were still this, like, gullible little princess."
JOY: Ha! The good old days.

Season 2, transcriptVMI Pod13 October 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Alanna Bennett, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Jackie Cook, Tessa Thompson, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Steve Guttenberg, Woody Goodman, Principal Clemmons, Van Clemmons, Duane Daniels, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Leonard Lobo, Gil Birmingham, Deputy Sacks, Brandon Hillock, Clarence Wiedman, Christopher B. Duncan, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Adam Bitterman, Curly Moran, Ken Marino, Vinnie Van Lowe, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Lianne Mars, Corinne Bohrer, Corny, Jonathan Chesner, Peter Ferrer, Luke Fryden, Marcos Oliveres, Jeremy Ray Valdez, Manning parents, Mannings, Stewart Manning, bus crash, murder, child abuse, suicide, New York, Paris, graduation, Neptune Grand, explosions, bombs, planes, chlamydia, Loganica, dream sequences, retcons, parties, sex, rotatokissing, briefcases, Little League, Sharks, Mr Lee, lawyers, incorporation, glasses, The Wig, sexpeople, bacon, taxidermy, Quail Creek Lodge, hunting, Weevil’s grandma, arrests, pony, NYC, Harry Styles, Madison Square Garden, Sugarhill Gang, babies, children, Brooklyn, tasers, tasing, Woody’s Burgers, Comic Sans, Hart Hanson, Dilemma, Nelly, Kelly Rowland, shower curtains, sandcastles, Gilmore Girls, college, Phoenix Land Trust, airport, JFK, rewards, pelvic wreckage

VMI 2.14 Versatile Toppings transcript

JOY: When Lamb is clearly going to be difficult, and Keith hands him the CD to essentially blackmail him, Lamb crosses his fingers and says, "I really hope it's the new Big & Rich." Helen, do you know, are you familiar with the musical artists Big & Rich?
HZ: I'm not, Jenny. Should I?
JOY: Well, they are, I think, best-known for their country smashola ‘Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy’.
HZ: That doesn't work.
JOY: That's about sex. ‘Have sex with a cowboy.’
HZ: "Don't fuck a horse," OK, what a message.
JOY: Listen! You have to hold two layers in your mind at the same time. "Don't ride a horse regular. Instead, fuck a cowboy."
HZ: "Take a cowboy to the races, and see if they can handle the jumps"?
JOY: Just make sure you only have one headphone in at any time.
HZ: I just don't think this analogy works, Jenny.
JOY: Helen, I feel like you're missing the spirit of modern American country music.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod21 July 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Hannah Griffith, Jessy Schram, Terrence Cook, Jeffrey Sams, Tom Griffith, Rick Peters, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Kristin Cavallari, Kylie, Lucas Grabeel, Kelly Kuzzio, Carmen Ruiz, Natalia Baron, Tina Majorino, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Corny, Jonathan Chesner, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Madison Sinclair, Amanda Noret, Ryan, Bradford William Anderson, Marlena, Arturo, Leonard Lobo, Gil Birmingham, Deputy Sacks, Brandon Hillock, extortion, gambling, debt, bus crash, Felix’s murder, Fitzpatricks, Felix Toombs, LGBTQ+, pizza, taser, muggings, blackmail, gay, lesbian, LGBTQIA, queer, outing, coming out, outed, rims, cars, explosives, helicopter, Woody Goodman, Laguna Beach, casino, websites, messageboards, forums, pirate shit, Cho’s Pizza, za, chatrooms, Pirate SHIP, secrets, printouts, strawberry soda, The Human Centipede, phone, caller ID, Starsailor, Bentley, Flintstones car, Big & Rich, alibis

VMI 2.13 Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough transcript

HZ: Jackie's shivering. It's so cold, this is so wrong. And then fucking Madison is there missing the balls, so she just goes over to the lever and she's like, "I told you to stay home," and dunks Jackie with the lever, which is so horrible. And the teacher who wouldn't let Wallace misthrow balls is just like, "Yeah, whatever, sure." And Veronica has a face of concern. But does she do anything? No.
JOY: You know, Helen, in my elementary school, we had a summer festival thing where our principal was in the dunk tank, and I, some way or another, won the privilege of being the first person to get to throw balls to try to dunk my principal, and I missed all three times. And then I did what Madison did, but in a fun way. But watching Madison do this really made me call into question my fifth grade mentality.
HZ: Isn't the point there that the hierarchy is temporarily suspended or subverted?
JOY: Yes.
HZ: Whereas this, it's someone in a superior position in pretty much every way in society being a real shit to someone else.
JOY: Thank you for making me feel better, Helen.
HZ: Yeah.
JOY: About me, not about this episode.

Season 2, transcriptVMI Pod15 July 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, bus crash, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Terrence Cook, Jeffrey Sams, Detective Weevil, Detective Logan, Felix’s murder, Felix Toombs, PCHers, Thumper, James Molina, Hector, Patrick Wolff, Jane, Valorie Curry, Miss Dumas, Hannah Griffith, Jessy Schram, Tom Griffith, Rick Peters, Cora, Dana Davis, Ms Hauser, Kari Coleman, JB, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Tina Majorino, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Corny, Jonathan Chesner, Madison Sinclair, Amanda Noret, Van Clemmons, Duane Daniels, Principal Clemmons, baseball, sportsball, sports, match throwing, gambling, debt, incorporation, carnival, winter carnival, money, theft, sports fans, ejoke-ulate, glitter, Tritons, Kane Scholarship, Magic Mountain, Six Flags, Chekhov’s things, Chekhov’s glitter, hair, haircuts, Ophelia, Weevil’s niece, Thora Birch, Ghost World, cash, banknotes, ball pit, cash box, dunk tank, dude, fluffy snake, video, streakers, slushies, sex workers, flagpole, denouement, shoes, pranks, Sally, cars, Chevy, Impala

VMI 2-05 Blast from the Past transcript

JOY: I just googled ‘Celebrity Boners and Gaffes’ -
HZ: No, no — no Jenny! Delete all the cookies!
JOY:There is a seemingly endless list of articles from mostly BuzzFeed, In Touch, some other websites and news outlets. Here are some sample article titles: "Celebrities who've had erections during sex scenes". "31 celebrity bulges that went hard in 2015". "The 21 most important celebrity bulges of all time". "Boner alert! Nine celebrities who have had boners in public". "Boner alert! Make America bulge again".
HZ: Argh.
JOY: "13 celebrity dudes who aren't afraid to show off their goods". I've googled it, so you don't have to.
HZ: Thanks, Jenny.
JOY: Ugh. You're welcome.
HZ: How do you know I hadn't already? (I hadn't.) So no gaffes, just boners?
JOY: No gaffes, just boners.
HZ: Gaffes are less popular than boners, I guess.

Season 2, transcriptVMI Pod21 April 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Mars Investigations, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, bus crash, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Manning parents, Mannings, Mac, Mac Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Nathan Woods, Cress Williams, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Terrence Cook, Jeffrey Sams, Cora, Dana Davis, Christine Estabrook, psychic, Madame Sophie, Mr Wu, Mrs Murphy, Corny, Mandy, sheriff race, Wallace’s dad, Fennel family, Hank Fennel, grief, TV psychic, fraud, fake psychic, pranks, punking, dances, dance, dancing, Homecoming, The Faders, narcotics, Keithlicia, secrets, lies, deceit, Mamma-max, Mammamax, betrayal, sabotage, shaming, embarrassment, bugs, literal bugs, surveillance, gambling, betting, baseball, match fixing, sports, Duncvonica, toilet office, Tricky Wicks, unicorns, Black Eyed Peas, Elephunk, jackets, chicken suit, Cupid, Sunset and Vaughn, Celebrity Boners and Gaffes, boners, lighting, red lights, Zippy the Pinhead, Yankees, Pete Rose, Shoeless Joe Jackson, Hall of Fame

VMI 1.18 Weapons of Class Destruction transcript

HZ: Veronica visits the website killemall. Jenny, please describe what you see, because we watched the episode together and she screamed for minutes upon sight of this thing.
JR: Tell me all about it.
JOY: Oh my god, it's like a ticking countdown clock, and I think there's like a demonic laugh that happens right when the page loads and it's like, “Hahahahaha," it's counting down. I also think there's like a some kind of demonic visage somewhere on the page. It’s like “Something demonic is gonna happen in 48 hours and 15 minutes and 22 seconds, suckers.”
JR: It's great. It's great stuff. Beautiful design, I love the red, it really pops.
JOY: It really pops.
JR: Love that font, it is like borderline Papyrus, I think.
JOY: Like evil Papyrus.
JR: Yeah, Demonic Papyrus.
HZ: I used that on my wedding invitations.

transcript, Season 1VMI Pod7 January 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, Neptune High, Joanna Robinson, special guest, Leo D’Amato, Deputy Leo, Max Greenfield, Veronica’s boyfriends, Veronica’s romances, Corny, Miss Dent, Sydney Tamiia Poitier, Joey Lauren Adams, Chasing Amy, Michael McMillian, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Home Improvement, wigs, hair, drugs, bombs, bomb dogs, bomb squad, Theo Rossi, Sons of Anarchy, Norris, Ben, throwing stars, Kurosawa, weapons, swords, web, websites, internet, wifi, Mac, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Keith's romances, dating, romance, kissing, kisses, kiss, popcorn, Van Clemmons, Vice Principal Clemmons, Duane Daniels, undercover agents, Miss Roush, Veronica's voices, journalism, papers, newspapers, media, Tiger Beat, punching, punches, violence, face punching, fertilizer, lies, Heathers, Jason Dean, Christian Slater, mullets, Storm Warning, Ginger Rogers, Doris Day, Ronald Reagan, The Crucible, dogs, sniffer dogs, fonts, Papyrus, web design, Meg Manning, Duncan Kane, Alona Tal, Teddy Dunn, passports, disappearing Duncan, Mannequin, problematic faves, cars, Nissan Xterra, Camelot motel, Logan's clothes, LoVe, Braveheart, Taut Blondes, ATF, ATF agents, 21 Jump Street, Miss Stafford, pep, Switched At Birth, expired passports, escape, absconding, guest stars, Tina Majorino, Miss Murphy