Kyle Gallner — Transcripts — Veronica Mars Investigations

Posts tagged Kyle Gallner

HZ: I don't acknowledge dream sequences. You know this.
JOY: Ha, yeah.
HZ: Well, I don't acknowledge this one. Fucking Lianne Mars? I hadn't missed her, I'd forgotten all about her.
JOY: Yeah, I kind of forgot that she ever existed.
HZ: But she's bearing laundry, because, in this dream, she's the perfect mother - as in domestic, and just sort of smiling gently at everyone else who's more interesting. She's got a much bigger house...
ALANNA BENNETT: Yes.
HZ: ...and a pancake breakfast, and Keith's in sheriff's uniform, and Veronica body-shames herself.
ALANNA BENNETT: Yes, because she's still the Disney popular girl, and gullible. I like that in her head it's like, "I wish that I were still this, like, gullible little princess."
JOY: Ha! The good old days.

Season 2, transcriptVMI Pod13 October 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Alanna Bennett, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Jackie Cook, Tessa Thompson, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Steve Guttenberg, Woody Goodman, Principal Clemmons, Van Clemmons, Duane Daniels, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Leonard Lobo, Gil Birmingham, Deputy Sacks, Brandon Hillock, Clarence Wiedman, Christopher B. Duncan, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Adam Bitterman, Curly Moran, Ken Marino, Vinnie Van Lowe, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Lianne Mars, Corinne Bohrer, Corny, Jonathan Chesner, Peter Ferrer, Luke Fryden, Marcos Oliveres, Jeremy Ray Valdez, Manning parents, Mannings, Stewart Manning, bus crash, murder, child abuse, suicide, New York, Paris, graduation, Neptune Grand, explosions, bombs, planes, chlamydia, Loganica, dream sequences, retcons, parties, sex, rotatokissing, briefcases, Little League, Sharks, Mr Lee, lawyers, incorporation, glasses, The Wig, sexpeople, bacon, taxidermy, Quail Creek Lodge, hunting, Weevil’s grandma, arrests, pony, NYC, Harry Styles, Madison Square Garden, Sugarhill Gang, babies, children, Brooklyn, tasers, tasing, Woody’s Burgers, Comic Sans, Hart Hanson, Dilemma, Nelly, Kelly Rowland, shower curtains, sandcastles, Gilmore Girls, college, Phoenix Land Trust, airport, JFK, rewards, pelvic wreckage

VMI 2.21 Happy Go Lucky transcript

JOY: I was so busy thinking about Weevil and math together.
HZ: Yeah? That doing it for you?
JOY: Yes. Two of my favourite things, Weevil and algebra. Math that I understand.
HZ: I didn't know you were into algebra. There's so much I still have to learn about you.
JOY: I mean, it's not like my passion, but if I had a workbook right now...
HZ: You could algebra the shit out of it.
JOY: I would absolutely do it to take the edge off anything to distract me from the yawning void just outside of my peripheral vision.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod6 October 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Jackie Cook, Tessa Thompson, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Steve Guttenberg, Woody Goodman, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Tommy Dohanic, Lucky, James Jordan, Terrence Cook, Jeffrey Sams, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Leonard Lobo, Gil Birmingham, Deputy Sacks, Brandon Hillock, Ethan Lavoie, John Prosky, Gay Storm, Annie Hinton, Don Worley, Hart, Mike Gaarde, bus crash, murder, death, assault, shooting, guns, blanks, child abuse, sexual abuse, sexual offenses, statutory rape, trauma, courtroom, trials, court cases, lawyers, shitty lawyers, jury, prosecution, defense, attorneys, judges, legal procedure, alibis, evidence, subpoena, Leo D’Amato, Duncan Kane, Marcos Oliveres, Peter Lilly Kane, Lilly Kane’s murder, bullshit, chlamydia, Thumper, Thumper’s murder, math, algebra, quadratic equations, veterans, war, People Magazine, Sexiest Man Alive, Kane scholarship, chia pets, press, batboys, passwords, cars, keying cars, lighting, computers, finals, exams, tests, Mannings, accidental porn, masks, catcher’s mask, bleach, email, MySpace, incorporation, objection, breakfast, mugshots, private plane, flight plans, monologuing, immunity, witnesses, shitnesses, POWER KEITH

VMI 2.18 I Am God transcript

HZ: There's quite a lot of setup this episode for this guy Lucky, but we see him for about 30 seconds, so just don't peak too soon.
JOY: Chekhov's... veteran?
HZ: Chekhov's really saving him for another play. "You know what, I'll seed Lucky in the first act of Uncle Vanya, but I won't get on to him until Three Sisters."
JOY: I'm laughing like I have any idea what Chekhov wrote and in what order, but I don't.
HZ: Anyone? Anyone?

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod8 September 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Meg Manning, Alona Tal, Mrs Murphy, Linda Castro, Rebecca James, Miss James, Paula Marshall, Tommy Dohanic, Lucky, James Jordan, Cassidy Casablancas, Beaver, Kyle Gallner, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Martin Yu, Mr Wu, Cervando, Max Arcinieda, Angie Dahl, Kayla Ewell, Jeremy Ray Valdez, Marcos Oliveres, Van Clemmons, Clemmons, Principal Clemmons, Duane Daniels, Betina, Blythe Auffarth, Rhonda, Audra J Morgan, Michelle, Samantha Klein, Peter, Luke Fryden, Maureen, Vanessa Chester, Natalie, Skyler Shaye, Keith’s romances, dates, dating, Neptune Onlyplace, generalised anxiety disorder, anxiety, bus crash, flashbacks, dreams, dreaming, dream sequences, Woody Goodman, eggs, Ahoy Mateys, Kane Scholarship, physics, murder, Weevil Navarro, Stanford, college, Richard Casablancas, insurance, cars, Liam Fitzpatrick, party bus, gay, LGBTQ+, Whole 30, Cupid, Switched At Birth, Henry James, The Golden Bowl, literature, Chekhov, House of Wax, Paris Hilton, The Simple Life, Fleabag, voicemail, farmers, farmersonly.com, Corvette, Seinfeld, Jason Alexander, George Costanza, Bozoville, finals, cheating, bleach, jeans, some bullshit

VMI 2.17 Plan B transcript

JOY: Why on god's green earth does this show refuse to show me anybody doing reps that I would like to watch doing reps? Why is this our fate? Here's a list of people that could do reps at any point on the show: Wallace; Cliff...
HZ: Cliff would be hilarious. Cliff would do it in like a white undershirt and some massive blue boxers and black business socks. And a tie.
JOY: And that would be fine. I would like to watch Lilly Kane do some reps...
HZ: Oh, yeah. Alicia doing reps.
JOY: Oh hell yes. Weevil...
HZ: I don't think I'd want to see Weevil doing reps. It just doesn't seem like his thing, like he'd rather be alone whilst he's exercising.
JOY: Oh, OK, well whatever Weevil wants, obviously.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod18 August 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Molly Fitzpatrick, Annie Campbell, Felix Toombs, Brad Bufanda, Bev, Furonda Brasfield, Kyle Gallner, Cassidy Casablancas, Beaver, Tina Majorino, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Thumper, James Molina, Fitzpatricks, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Steve Guttenberg, Woody Goodman, Jane Kuhne, Valorie Curry, Danny Boyd, Taylor Sheridan, Patrick Wolff, Hector, Martin Yu, Mr Wu, Linda Castro, Mrs Murphy, Curly Moran, David Bitterman, Liam Fitzpatrick, Rod Rowland, Deputy Sacks, Brandon Hillock, Luis, Easy Rider, essay contest, Shark Field, explosives, explosions, detonation, murder, witnesses, Felix’s murder, breakups, shocker, reps, sweat, argyle, Caligula, urinals, chloroform, assault, battery, Bible, swearing in, oaths, ANTM, America’s Next Top Model, River Stix, River Styx

VMI 2.15 The Quick and the Wed transcript

JOY: Here's some stuff that we find out that I don't care about: she had her ex-boyfriend's name tattooed on her ass after two weeks, then she got it removed, which took six weeks, so that the guy that she's getting married to would never see it, and also one of them lost her cellphone last night, and there was a guy creeping around them at the Happy Horseshoe. Here is what we find out that I do care about: they went to an all-male revue called "Packaged Meat".
HZ: Ew.
JOY: Ha! Helen! Get on my level. This is so great. This is wonderful news.
HZ: I suppose, any of the genders in revue, I'm a little uncomfortable with them.
JOY: Well, I guess this is where you and I, our paths diverge, and I take the winding road into the strippergram forest, searching for elusive woodland hunks to pop out, being granted modesty by strategically-placed fig leaves and branches, and that's just not what you're after.
HZ: It's quite the bucolic scene of male nudity and moss and branches and things.
JOY: Come on!

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod28 July 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Jane, Jane Kuhne, Valorie Curry, Hannah Griffith, Jessy Schram, Vinnie Van Lowe, Ken Marino, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Cassidy Casablancas, Beaver, Kyle Gallner, Heidi, Virginia Williams, Rick Peters, Dr Tom Griffith, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Daran Norris, Cliff McCormack, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Arturo, Michael Ausiello, Mr Pope, Michael Kostroff, Nick, Brad Ashten, bus crash, explosives, Terrence Cook, wedding, marriage, faxes, missing bride, family, engagement ring, engagement, karaoke, Felix’s murder, Felix Toombs, Phoenix Land Trust, Hannibal Lecter, prison, Clarice Starling, Easy Rider, Duncan Kane, CONDOMS, plea bargains, incorporation, bachelorettes, bachelorette party, hen party, sex Roomba, Neptune Onlyplace, Pirates of Penzance, Gilbert and Sullivan, Gollum, melon, strippers, bowling, bands, musicians

VMI 2.13 Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough transcript

HZ: Jackie's shivering. It's so cold, this is so wrong. And then fucking Madison is there missing the balls, so she just goes over to the lever and she's like, "I told you to stay home," and dunks Jackie with the lever, which is so horrible. And the teacher who wouldn't let Wallace misthrow balls is just like, "Yeah, whatever, sure." And Veronica has a face of concern. But does she do anything? No.
JOY: You know, Helen, in my elementary school, we had a summer festival thing where our principal was in the dunk tank, and I, some way or another, won the privilege of being the first person to get to throw balls to try to dunk my principal, and I missed all three times. And then I did what Madison did, but in a fun way. But watching Madison do this really made me call into question my fifth grade mentality.
HZ: Isn't the point there that the hierarchy is temporarily suspended or subverted?
JOY: Yes.
HZ: Whereas this, it's someone in a superior position in pretty much every way in society being a real shit to someone else.
JOY: Thank you for making me feel better, Helen.
HZ: Yeah.
JOY: About me, not about this episode.

Season 2, transcriptVMI Pod15 July 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, bus crash, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Terrence Cook, Jeffrey Sams, Detective Weevil, Detective Logan, Felix’s murder, Felix Toombs, PCHers, Thumper, James Molina, Hector, Patrick Wolff, Jane, Valorie Curry, Miss Dumas, Hannah Griffith, Jessy Schram, Tom Griffith, Rick Peters, Cora, Dana Davis, Ms Hauser, Kari Coleman, JB, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Tina Majorino, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Corny, Jonathan Chesner, Madison Sinclair, Amanda Noret, Van Clemmons, Duane Daniels, Principal Clemmons, baseball, sportsball, sports, match throwing, gambling, debt, incorporation, carnival, winter carnival, money, theft, sports fans, ejoke-ulate, glitter, Tritons, Kane Scholarship, Magic Mountain, Six Flags, Chekhov’s things, Chekhov’s glitter, hair, haircuts, Ophelia, Weevil’s niece, Thora Birch, Ghost World, cash, banknotes, ball pit, cash box, dunk tank, dude, fluffy snake, video, streakers, slushies, sex workers, flagpole, denouement, shoes, pranks, Sally, cars, Chevy, Impala

VMI 2.12 Rashard and Wallace Go To White Castle transcript

HZ: Uncle Monte doesn't want Rashard to be consorting with girls in case they're leeches, and hits him in the dick to prove his point.
JOY: Helen, has your uncle ever hit you in the dick?
HZ: I've only met my uncle about eight times, and no, he didn't hit me in the dick. He taught me how to make a compass with a piece of string and a pin.
JOY: That's pretty tight. That's way cooler than hitting your nibling in the dick.
HZ: I don't think I've hit any of my niblings in the dick so far.
JOY: Good on you, Helen.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod7 July 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, bus crash, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Terrence Cook, Detective Weevil, Detective Logan, Felix’s murder, Felix Toombs, PCHers, Thumper, James Molina, Hector, Patrick Wolff, Chicago, Rashard Rucker, hit and run, cover-up, basketball, Fitzpatricks, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Marcello Thedford, Super Huge Deputy, Liam Fitzpatrick, Robert Fitzpatrick, James Joseph O'Neil, Annie Campbell, Molly Fitzpatrick, Don Lamb, Sheriff Lamb, Michael Muhney, Cliff McCormack, Daran Norris, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Jane, BJ Britt, Uncle Monte Rucker, Sterling Macer Jr, Nathan Woods, Cress Williams, Guy Abruti, Curtis Anderson, Neptune Grand, church, confession, confessional, props, books, Inga, evidence, club, White Castle, limo, fraternity, frat, party, parties, karaoke, Britt Daniel, Spoon, Lars, Curly Moran, smelly bus, Neptune Onlyplace, toga parties, journalists, clubs, tie dye, boobs, uncles, drive through, burgers, cool girl, phones, cellphones, mobile phones, switcheroo, hollow books, Bill O’Reilly, tapes, interviews, priests, catholicism, hymnal, Miss Dumas, rat, dead rat, Woody Goodman, cobbler, pantomime horse, costumes, panto

VMI 2.09 My Mother, the Fiend transcript

JOY: Have I told you that my mom used to save birds in the freezer? If a bird would fly into one of our windows and die, she would save it in the freezer for some reason.
HZ: Was she hoping that they would be reborn after three days?
JOY: Possibly? When I was quite small our dog killed a baby raccoon and I was really upset about it, and so then, as a response, my mom had the raccoon taxidermied.
HZ: No!
JOY: For my birthday.

Season 2, transcriptVMI Pod9 June 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Trina Echolls, Alyson Hannigan, Lianne Mars, Celeste Kane, Lisa Thornhill, Ms Hauser, Deborah Hauser, Kari Coleman, Vice-Principal Clemmons, Principal Clemmons, Van Clemmons, Duane Daniels, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Mac, Mac Mackenzie, Cindy Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, PCHers, Hector, Thumper, Meg Manning, Alona Tal, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Mary Mooney, Terrylene, Jake Kane, Patty, bus crash, pregnancy, babies, baby, children, parents, Felix’s murder, ASL, sign language, deaf, hard of hearing, flagpole, fights, robot babies, babybots, things that only happen in TV shows, My Mother The Car, schemes, tenuous schemes, tabloids, leaking to the press, plays, theatre, theater, Hamlet, hospital, Abel Koontz, fake endings, alternate endings, deleted scenes, ties, gossip, cakes, coffee shops, cafes, coma, adoption, prom baby, Cockblock Duncan

VMI 2.07 Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner transcript

JENNY OWEN YOUNGS: But if you had to choose a favourite Ninja Turtle...
HELEN ZALTZMAN: I don't know what their different personalities are, Jenny.
JENNY OWEN YOUNGS: OK, let me just run it down for you really quick.
HELEN ZALTZMAN: Which one's the Logan and which one's the Duncan?
JENNY OWEN YOUNGS: Right. Exactly. Well, Duncan is sort of the Leonardo. Michelangelo is like Dick. He's like, "Wazzup?" And then Raphael is like Logan because he has a lot of anger issues. And then Donatello, do we have like a recurring super smart person on this show? I guess Mac would be the closest? Mac is Donatello. Cool. Nailed it. And then Keith is like Splinter. And then Mr Echolls is like Shredder. And then all the one episode 09ers are the foot soldiers, the Foot Clan. Cool. Thanks for listening.
HELEN ZALTZMAN: Are all shows truly the same?
JENNY OWEN YOUNGS: All shows are one show.
HELEN ZALTZMAN: It's the same characters, but different shells.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod19 May 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Ms Hauser, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Kyle Gallner, Cassidy Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Dick Casablancas, Richard Casablancas, Betina Casablancas, Madison Sinclair, Amanda Noret, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Woody Goodman, Steve Guttenberg, Jessica Fuller, Meg Manning, Manning family, Grace Manning, Manning parents, Tom Griffith, Rick Peters, Felix’s murder, child abuse, psychological abuse, emotional abuse, Dirty Dancing, babysitting, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, milk, Kari Coleman, Switched at Birth, Jane, gonorrhoea, chlamydia, STIs, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, tropes, awful boys of Neptune, Edwin, Albert, Stuart Fuller, photoshop, mirrors, back of heads, Rihanna, sleepovers, basics, pizza, Pon De Replay, hair, butts, Pretty Woman, panty raids, Milk Tray, Milk Tray Man, turtlenecks, air vents, handwriting, graphology, money, finances, FBLOA, Future Business Leaders of America, French maids’ outfits, shit parents, sexpeople, inappropriate behaviour, propositions, toilet office, plastic surgeon, cigars, cigar shop, golf, incorporation, burglary

VMI 2.03 Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang transcript

HZ: I have two other reasons that I think account for Veronica's hostility. One is: I think she senses that Jackie is a sexperson. She has already said in the previous episode that she hasn't dated a high school guy since eighth grade. She makes reference to actors she's been out with. She's a sexperson. But I think the true reason she dislikes Jackie is because Jackie also wears tiny jackets.
JOY: Tiny jacket competition. They have to have a tiny jacket-off.
HZ: Who's got the tiniest jacket? And also, Jackie's name is so close to ‘jacket’.
JOY: Wow. Yes. Also really regretting saying 'tiny jacket-off'.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod6 April 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, bus crash, Curly Moran, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Duncvonica, Richard Casablancas, David Starzyk, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Mr Pope, Michael Kostroff, Nathan Woods, Cress Williams, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Chicago, Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen, novels, literature, period drama, Colin Firth, Mr Darcy, Elizabeth Bennet, hotel jazz, jazz, karaoke, Courtney Taylor-Taylor, crimes against music, songs, Love Hurts, prenups, infidelity, sex, sexpeople, gym, long lens, surveillance, scams, property, property scams, illegal, helicopters, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Future Business Leaders of America, REITs, finances, shares, punching, fighting, boats, milk, milkshakes, milky drinks, Aaron Echolls, Echolls home, stunts, stuntman, police badge, Neptune Onlyplace, Java The Hut, Twin Peaks, Dandy Warhols, Lars, William Burroughs, Mystic Pizza, Sandpiper, hotels, fraud, theft, teapots, FBLA

VMI 2.02 Driver Ed transcript

HZ: It's interesting seeing Tessa Thompson in this, given that her career is now stellar.
JOY: Yeah, another person who was in Veronica Mars who is now incredibly successful.
HZ: And I'm happy for her; she's very charismatic, I think, on screen even in this but I feel like she's done a bit of a disservice with the character in this. I think they're not quite sure who Jackie is, because they have just piled all of the styles on her at once. She's wearing elements of five very different outfits at most times.
JOY: She's like a girl group. But like all five of them at a time. Sporty, Ginger, Scary, Baby -
HZ: And Belts.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod30 March 2020Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Duncvonica, Richard Casablancas, David Starzyk, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Terrence Cook, Jeffrey Sams, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, bus crash, cars, journalists, journalists in disguise, hacky sack, Never Been Kissed, sex, sex people, bus driver, Kevin Smith, Clerks, Wallace’s romances, Porsche, Detective Wallace, clerk, convenience store, Curly Moran, last meal, Ari Graynor, Jessie, Ed Doyle, depression, mental health, mental illness, payphone, phonecall, St Christopher, Duane, guns, shooting range, Deputy Sacks, The Shelby One, punching, apples, Granny Smith, Dawn Lamb, Cotters, affairs, sheriff, meerkat, meerkat meat, sexpeople, nonsexpeople, Neptune Grand, necktie belts, clothes made of ties, ties, costuming, costumes, clothes, Nelly, condoms, Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2

VMI 2.01 Normal is the Watchword transcript

JOY: Do you think that in this context, pantsing refers to just Butters's pants coming down or him getting fully exposed?
HZ: I'm trying to remember what we would have called it in England; it would have had a different name; pants would definitely unambiguously be undergarments in British English.
JOY: Oh right, so you'd be like, "Oh, he got troused" or something. Sorry if I've offended anyone.
HZ: When you've pantsed people in the past, Jenny, which I'm sure actually I'm sure you've never done because you're a kind person.
JOY: Honestly, I'm not a pantser, but Jess pantses me on the daily.
HZ: She romantically pantses you? And when she does it, is it overpants and underpants?
JOY: Just overpants, and then an impish scurrying away.
HZ: So we should clarify: Jess is your girlfriend.
JOY: Yes.
HZ: She's not your high school bully.
JOY: Or a ghost.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod23 March 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Woody Goodman, Steve Guttenberg, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, bus crash, schoolbus, bus, Naima Mora, cliffs, Meg Manning, Alona Tal, Dick Casablancas, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Ryan Hansen, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Veronica’s romances, Veronica’s relationships, PDA, book deals, Alica Fennel, Lilly Kane, vertical twigwork, sports, the Neptune Onlyplace, vests, urine, drug tests, schemes, conspiracies, Butters, Kelvin, plots, Keith’s book, Duncvonica, bugs, ladybugs, ladybirds, biscotti, Julie Chen, Happy Duncan, Big Murder Small Town, Felix, Felix Toombs, Brad Bufanda, murder, class war, class tensions, Leo D’Amato, Max Greenfield, Deputy Leo, cute as a bug manager, Godfather III, pisstery, urine samples, parents, Jim Chimory, Boatloads of Fun, pants, pantsing, trousers, pranks, cruelty, jokes, japes, Keithlicia, South Park, Vincent, Clemmons, Vice Principal Clemmons, 69, bad accents, shy bladder, bathrooms, bathroom doors, doors, Shark Field, ANTM, Miss Dumas, PCHers, Sleevil, Cordelia, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Laker Girls, The Shocker, kissing, inappropriate workplace behaviour, Dick, Beaver, sex, affairs, baseball, Terrence Cook, food shaming, relationships, Dirrty, Nelly, Red Socks, Yankees, Johnny Damon, Delays, Long Time Coming, Embrace, Ashes, Kane parents, Jake Kane, Celeste Kane, Kane trial, Napa

VMI 1.22 Leave It To Beaver transcript

HZ: Veronica's not avoiding Logan today.
JOY: No, even though she's supposed to be I think steering clear from him she can't resist going in for a little no-costume undercover work pretending to still be into it so that she can see what he has to say for himself.
HZ: Yeah, right. We know that she's shitting him, for some reason.
JOY: I'm sorry - "shitting him"?
HZ: Yeah, do you not say that in America?
JOY: Oh, like like she's like lying to them or playing him or something? Like "you gotta be shitting me."
HZ: Right. Exactly. She's shittting him. But he doesn't know he's being shat.
JOY: See, this really starts to fall apart once you start conjugating.
HZ: Does it? You knew what I meant! He is beshat.

transcript, Season 1VMI Pod4 February 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, PCHers, Jake Kane, Kyle Secor, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Celeste Kane, Lisa Thornhill, Don Lamb, Sheriff Lamb, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, murder, tapes, secrets, secret tapes, sex tapes, fire, arson, fridges, Backup, car crash, fighting, fights, Keith Mars to the rescue, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Lianne Mars, Corinne Bohrer, rewards, theft, cheques, checks, Hrishikesh Hirway, Song Exploder, The West Wing Weekly, Steve Rankin, Lloyd Blankenship, Cheyenne, sex workers, Abel Koontz, newspapers, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Beaver, DNA tests, DNA results, paternity tests, onions, chopping onions, music, food, nice Chianti, parents, family, families, parenting, disguises, servers, cater waiters, Republicans, parties, another grim dinner at the Kane house, alcoholism, Cliff, Cliff McCormack, Daran Norris, voices, Cliff's voice, lawsuits, suing, Kane fortune, print media, props, eavesdropping, eavesdroppers, appearing behind things, CSS, toilet office, breakups, breaking up, Keithlicia, jackets, set dressing, waterproof Santa, Garfield, lighting, Leave It To Beaver, alibis, red herrings, Garbage, Bad Boyfriend, shit, linguistics, gay for Weevil, Leo D'Amato, Barry Randall, soul patch, facial hair, Deputy Sacks, the one phone call, hiding places, Marses in disguise, crab puffs, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Arnie, doors, traumacoaster, Spice Girls, Wannabe, video, sex hut, curtains, LeBaron, Veronica's car, Joan of Arc, walkie talkies, plastic horse, killing, goofs, stunt doubles, Blankenship, Lil Kim

VMI 1.21 A Trip to the Dentist transcript

HZ: In Vegas, Keith's guest Cheyenne arrives wearing a black dress with charm chains draped over the shoulders. Keith's hotel is quite beige and drab, and also, the TV is angled so you can't watch it in bed. What the fuck? What piece of shit hotel would do this to you? What is the point?
JOY: Yeah, that is cruel and unusual punishment.
HZ: Keith's still kind of in caring dad mode, asking Cheyenne if she's hungry.

KEITH: Are you hungry or anything?
CHEYENNE: I think not having to buy me dinner first is kind of the point. Why don’t you come sit over here with me and relax, okay?
KEITH: Well, maybe we could go sit out on the balcony.
CHEYENNE: You’re still gonna be married on the balcony. Now. I want you to tell me exactly what you want. That one thing you can never get the little woman to do. And we’ll start there.
KEITH: Actually, I’d like to start by talking about Abel Koontz.

HZ: Wow, Keith, that is one hell of a kink. Bet she doesn't get that request often.
JOY: “The little woman just won't discuss Abel Koontz and the Lilly Kane murder with me the way I'd like.”

Season 1, transcriptVMI Pod28 January 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, drugs, rape, alcohol, intoxication, sexual assault, Cassidy Casablancas, Beaver, Kyle Gallner, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Sean, Luke, Casey, Jonathan Bennett, Rashomon, spycams, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Cheyenne, sex workers, Cuba, Las Vegas, Celeste Kane, Lisa Thornhill, Teddy Dunn, Duncan Kane, Leighton Meester, Carrie Bishop, cameos, spit, drinks, parties, Shelly Pomroy, Shelly Pomroy’s party, GHB, liquid X, beards, facial hair, surfing, surfboards, theme song, Meg Manning, Alona Tal, Madison Sinclair, Amanda Noret, Clarence Wiedman, Christopher B Duncan, reward, Divinyls, I Touch Myself, allergies, Veronica's car, friendship, hotels, Echolls house, Inappropriately Sassy Duncan, Powersave Duncan, punch, Chekhov's thing, sugar, spitting, sets, set dressing, curtains, Aaron Echolls's face all over his house, pool house, air vents, hidden cameras, surveillance, Lianne Mars, Corinne Bohrer, car chalk, cars, drinking, Abel Koontz, wiretapping, Sean Friedrich

VMI 1.20 M.A.D. transcript

HZ: In the background of the Echolls living room, there's a cabinet containing many framed photos of Aaron. We're used to that from the set dressing, but also a bunch of awards, including two Oscars.

JOY: Damn, I missed that. What do you think those are for?

HZ: I don't know, because I thought they'd built up Aaron to be quite a shit actor, just doing these crappy action films and sequels.

JOY: I was wondering if - when they they said that when Veronica later says that she got caught making out by the star of Breaking Point and Breaking Point 2, I was wondering if that was supposed to be a Point Break reference, if Aaron was supposed to be a Patrick Swayze type.

HZ: Maybe one of the awards is for Dance Dirty and Dance Dirty 2 then.

Season 1, transcriptVMI Pod20 January 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, Neptune High, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Jeff D’Agostino, Beaver, Cassidy Casablancas, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Kyle Gallner, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Mac, Mac Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Carmen, Tad, Clarence Wiedman, Christopher B Duncan, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, boats, awful guys of Neptune, tattoos, humiliation, phones, cellphones, video, revenge, vengeance, sex tape, drugs, Keith's romances, sex, revenge porn, sex shaming, Toxic Neptune, cars, videos, incriminating videos, entrapment, Missing Duncan, passports, eBay, escape plans, prom, homophobia, military, navy, dances, LGBTQ, Boy George, Seth, ecstasy, Troy, hair, guys that suck, Paris Hilton, Star Wars Kid, memes, viral videos, Ghyslain Raza, sleeveless henley, clothes, jackets, fashion, clothing, rotatokissing, Oscars, awards, set dressing, Echolls home, Point Break, Patrick Swayze, Dirty Dancing, surfing, Mexico, cheerleaders, surf and chicks fest, dog names, dogs, A Dog Named Boo, songs, music, LoVe, Loganica, Finding out true love is blind, Louis XIV, lyrics, bad songs, novelty hats, boardwalk, hats, photos, photobooth, photoshop, framing, websites, graphic design, long lens, drug dealing, chicken kiev, Chevy Impala, Tijuana, motels, accents, swingles, Mr Heinrich, costumes, costuming, Catalina Island, sailing, dates, dating, Chinatown, newspaper, paper, serving, lawsuits, divorce, Lianne Mars, Albacore Club, Tuna Club of Avalon, legal proceedings, legal procedure, Loretta Cancun, Ameenah Kaplan, Cliff, Cliff McCormack, dance, tricking a hotel receptionist, props, Felix, Shelly Pomroy's party, nonconsensual drugging, nonconsensual intoxication, GHB, crapface, emotional abuse, coercion, hot tub, lighting, Kane Software, bugs, houseplants, roofies, rohypnol