HZ: They could have saved themselves so much time by following legal procedure.
LO DODDS:: Well, even, like they could have made it dramatic, but like why - why is there kidnapping?
HZ: Well, for making it dramatic, Lo. I think you answered your own question there.
JOY: Have I told you that my mom used to save birds in the freezer? If a bird would fly into one of our windows and die, she would save it in the freezer for some reason.
HZ: Was she hoping that they would be reborn after three days?
JOY: Possibly? When I was quite small our dog killed a baby raccoon and I was really upset about it, and so then, as a response, my mom had the raccoon taxidermied.
HZ: No!
JOY: For my birthday.
HZ: Veronica's not avoiding Logan today.
JOY: No, even though she's supposed to be I think steering clear from him she can't resist going in for a little no-costume undercover work pretending to still be into it so that she can see what he has to say for himself.
HZ: Yeah, right. We know that she's shitting him, for some reason.
JOY: I'm sorry - "shitting him"?
HZ: Yeah, do you not say that in America?
JOY: Oh, like like she's like lying to them or playing him or something? Like "you gotta be shitting me."
HZ: Right. Exactly. She's shittting him. But he doesn't know he's being shat.
JOY: See, this really starts to fall apart once you start conjugating.
HZ: Does it? You knew what I meant! He is beshat.
HZ: In Vegas, Keith's guest Cheyenne arrives wearing a black dress with charm chains draped over the shoulders. Keith's hotel is quite beige and drab, and also, the TV is angled so you can't watch it in bed. What the fuck? What piece of shit hotel would do this to you? What is the point?
JOY: Yeah, that is cruel and unusual punishment.
HZ: Keith's still kind of in caring dad mode, asking Cheyenne if she's hungry.
KEITH: Are you hungry or anything?
CHEYENNE: I think not having to buy me dinner first is kind of the point. Why don’t you come sit over here with me and relax, okay?
KEITH: Well, maybe we could go sit out on the balcony.
CHEYENNE: You’re still gonna be married on the balcony. Now. I want you to tell me exactly what you want. That one thing you can never get the little woman to do. And we’ll start there.
KEITH: Actually, I’d like to start by talking about Abel Koontz.
HZ: Wow, Keith, that is one hell of a kink. Bet she doesn't get that request often.
JOY: “The little woman just won't discuss Abel Koontz and the Lilly Kane murder with me the way I'd like.”
JOY: Logan is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
HZ: Yeah, although you do assume that the chocolates will be brownish green and a bit out of date. What what? But still delicious. Delicious, but bad for you.
Read MoreJOY: Helen! Helen!! Veronica - Veronica cracks open her… was this the laptop that she specifically only uses for her personal Lilly Kane murder investigation, with her Lilly Kane murder investigation desktop wallpaper?
HZ: That would explain why she uses the school computers for things that really should be done in private rather than a busy classroom. There's big yellow letters across the top of the screen that say “Lilly Kane murder investigation." Which, you would think she would call it something else.
JOY: Yeah, taxes, you know, what do people call porn folders on their computer? Something that will make someone who sees it over your shoulder be like, “Oh, boring. Gotta go." But no, it's ‘Lilly Kane murder investigation’, and then there are folders all over the desktop, clearly labelled each of the Kanes, Eli ‘Weevil' Navarro, etc, etc. I was watching this episode, and I had to screenshot this desktop situation. And I sent it to Helen, who immediately responded - because the photo is from prom, that fateful, almost Skinny Dip night when Lilly was really stoked about going braless - and Helen said, “I too like to remember my dead loved ones at their most busty."
HZ: It's what they would have wanted.
Read MoreHZ: In Wallace's locker, there's a gift - an offering!
JOY: A spirit box! Do you guys have spirit boxes in the UK?
HZ: Of course not, sports players are privileged enough.
JOY: Do you guys have spirit of any kind in the UK?
HZ: We have spirits, as in the booze kind.
JOY: Ah yes, now that's a box I'd like to receive in my locker.
HZ: It’d probably get you into trouble, Jenny. This box is is green with yellow frills and it's got a big green frog in it and “Go Wallace, we love you, you rock” somewhere involved. And in it there's a load of snickerdoodles. Which is not a cookie we have in Britain either. Is it worth bothering with?
JOY: I mean, I love a snickerdoodle - I'm an equal opportunity employer of cookies.
HZ: That's very thoughtful.
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